That entry was funny. ANYway...I've been cutting every couple of days. No one knows. My mom pulled down my wristband yesterday thinking that she would see cuts. DUH BITCH! I don't cut on my arms anymore! I slice my legs. >> I cut above my left knee and it hurts like fucking hell. I'll get used to it. I'll probally cut again tonight. I have to go to a show tonight. I'll probally start crying because it is Grease and I miss Mike a lot. *sighs* We have to postpone him comming here. My heart dropped when I heard that. I cut the next day. I guess that is what I get. How could anyone see me? No one does. I'm the shadow that haunts the bright world that is my friends' lives. *sighs* No one sees me. I guess I should get used to that fact. I burn a lot of incense now. It helps to relieve the stress. I'm still failing in school. Go figure. I have two Fs and a D- which is practically an F. I have another D and two C+s. I'm failing. Kelsey's bringing me some of her ADD meds Monday. I'm taking one. We're testing to see if it works. If it does, I need to get some. But 20 mg might not do shit. Kelsey says that I have to forcefeed myself. I can do that. But it might be nice not to eat for once. Hell, it might be nice not to sleep too. The more I dream the more I drown because I'm still fucking alone. Kelsey and I are going to the Homecomming dance together. I'm going to wear a... *swallows* A skirt. >< She's gonna dress like the man. It's going to fucking rock. It's just for fun tho. I've got to have something to amuse me. I'm just so fed up with everything. And when I say everything I mean everything. I guess I want to talk to Sky again. Like he knows that tho. At least he and Meg get along well. I guess I'm jealous of her friendship with him. Why does she get it and I don't? Oh, I know why. I might fall back into love with him. But once you love someone, you can't stop. Maybe it is better off if I just fall like I did last year when I lost Tim. He was a good friend too. Then he left me. Sounds familiar, doesn't it. *sighs* How come everyone leaves me? It's only a matter of time till Mike does. "Everyone leaves me stranded, forgotten, abandoned and left behind..." How true that lyric is. *sighs* It's time for me to go. I've ranted my depression long enough. Let's hope Kelsey's drugs help me. Kari Can't wish it all away Can't hope it all away Can't cry it all away Can't scratch it all away