Chapter 7: Farther Away Kari sat on her bed. She was tired of writing. She was tired of going to school. She was tired of living. How she wished she could disappear. She felt as if everything would be much better that way. ...I took their smiles and made them mine. I sold my soul just to hide the light. Now I see what I really am: a thief, a whore, and a liar... She sighed and fell back. She hated to think of suicide, but that seemed like it was the only answer. How she wanted to disappear. She told one of her friends that she wanted to disappear. She was even using lines from her favorite songs. But, no matter what, she would always get up and live another day. ...I run to you. Call out your name. I see you there, father away... There was always him. She wanted him. She had told him that she wanted him. She hated to be obsessed with him, but it was keeping her alive everyday. He was an obsession gone wrong. She didn't need him to be her only link to the world. ...I'm numb to you, numb and deaf and blind. You give me all but the reason why. I reach, but I feel only air and night, not you, not love, just nothing... How she hated to think of him. He haunted her dreams and plagued her mind. He was a poison that wouldn't go away. She hated him with all of her heart. Yet, she loved him just the same. ...Try to forget you, but without you I feel nothing. Don't leave me here. By myself, I can't breathe... She gasped as if she was drowning. It felt like there was a great load on her chest. She hated it. She had lived with it for too long. She wanted it to end. ...I run to you. Call out your name. I see you there, farther away... Just empty inside and hollow. She couldn't help it. How she hated to be like this. It took all of her strenght not to take a blade accross her wrists and watch her blood trickle out of her. She wanted it so bad. But, she would never do it. There was something about suicide that had her spooked.