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Recent Posts

[61] Every Heartbeat (4)
So yeah - today was uneventful.
I'm on my way to my aunt's house for tomorrow. Thanksgiving...whaaaaat!
Should be pretty fun. <3 

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[60] Overflowed (5)
Work last night was exhausting and super cold - why the hell is it almost below 20 where I live?! GAH.
I ended up sleeping until 5 PM...how lovely. I woke up and I got some writing done. I was so happy to finish a short yesterday and I plan on finishing another today because the holiday writing rush is intense.
I watched drag race with some friends. I'm going to make dinner in a few and then finish this short story. I don't think I'll be getting much WoW time in before work, unfortunately.
Oh...and thanksgiving is soon! :O 

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[59] Make A Sound (2)
Whelp - today was productively unproductive.
I woke up late and essentially got right in Discord and talked to a few friends. Work last night wasn't too bad so it was a good way to just blow off stream and BS. We stayed in Discord for a long time, pretty much almost 5 hours. Anthony wasn't home most of the day because he was out with his father for a pre-Thanksgiving thing.
Afterwards Anthony came home with surprise Chipotle so we ate and watched Drag Race with some friends.
After dinner, he decided to take a long nap before work (which we have @ 4:00 AM) so I said sure. And now I'm going to spend the rest of the night writing and hoping to get done with at least two short stories. We'll see. 

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[58] Shine a Light (8)
Ugh. Today went by so quickly and I barely got anything I wanted to get done - oversleeping didn't help.
I mostly just chilled and enjoyed spending time with Anthony. Didn't get much writing done but I have layed out my plan for the next week so that's a thing.
Dinner was stir fry again, we're trying to save resources so we don't need to shop until the first.
Work soon. x.x 

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[57] It Ain't Easy (10)
I'm taking another break from writing today. I can't get my head clear, it's the smartest thing. In my defense though, I actually did get some marketing done yesterday as well as doing the whole fanpage revamp thing...that counts for something, right? -_-
Today was filled with just boredom, mostly. I didn't really play WoW or talk to anyone for a significant amount of time. I mostly just browsed forums and listened to music/watched some Xena.
When Anthony came home I made dinner and we watched Scream Queens with friends.
The rest of the night is dedicated to WoW with him. <3 

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[56] Wanting More (10)
No work today so I got to get my sleep schedule back on track...for the weekend, anyway. I go back to work on Monday. -_- Yay adult life.
I didn't do anything really of note today. I watched some streaming and played WoW. And I got to do a bit of writing, not that much. I worked out Thanksgiving plans so that was good.
I talked to friends on Skype for a few hours. It was fun.
Now the rest of the night is dedicated to writing! :D 

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the last time we had fun (22)
Your face is a minor detail
Elephants as big as whales
And we've both got better things to do.....

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[969] riptide (28)
well god, if we've learned anything at all, it's that i know how to make myself lonely

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[55] Lock the Door (11)
Today wasn't as productive as I would have liked.
Because I worked so early I got too much sleep (as what seems to be becoming a pattern) and I didn't get to finish the cleaning I wanted to do. Thanksgiving is in a few days and apparently Anthony has to work, which is really frustrating so that means I'll be spending it not with him. Our first Thanksgiving in SEVEN years without each other. I'm not amused.
I did manage to do the dishes and cook a nice dinner, given it's the end of the month and our supplies are limited...so I'd say I did good.
Afterwards we watched some Drag Race with our friends and Anthony laid down for a nap after an unsuccessful WoW session. Now I'm going to read and watch streams until work at 4 AM. Score. 

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[54] Daylight Fades (12)
So I didn't get any writing done today...but meh, it happens.
I played some WoW and talked to Linus on Skype today. He seems to actually be trying to get things back to where they used to be/ get our relationship dynamic back. I'm guarded with him, as well I should be because of how poorly he's treated me...so we'll see if it's possible for us to getback to where we were or if he burned that bridge permanently.
Anthony came home from school and I made dinner while he did his homework. It wasn't anything extravagant - hotdogs, apple compote, and egg fried rice. Like I said, nothing over-the-top but it was delicious at least. We ate dinner and watched Scream Queens. It was a really good episode and I'm really loving where it's going.
After dinner we talked to friends on Discord for a few hours. The rest of the night is us playing WoW and then going to work...yup, we're back to part time at night. Yay. >.> 

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[53] Scattered Around (12)
Yes, I'm aware I say it every morning but shut up! Today was actually much later. It is not a fun thing to sleep until 3:00 and miss work -_-
So with the annoyance of today I actually managed to get some things done. I cleaned up (still have a lot to do, unfortunately) got some writing done, and managed to talk to some people.
So yay me? >.> 

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[52] Crumbled Photographs (12)
We're going to pretend that I didn't oversleep like I do every other day and I was actually awake at a normal time, okay, good? Good! :D
 So I got up and did all of my normal stuff. I managed to get some pages done which if you know anything about writing is a decent accomplishment!
I made lunch for Anthony and myself and we played WoW together for most of the day enjoying our last day of no work since this week is so hectic.
Our friends and us got together and finished Season 4 of Drag Race so that was cool. We're starting Season 5 tomorrow, maybe, if we're all free. I hope we are. I love this show.
I made rice and beans for dinner. It was the first time Anthony actually enjoyed it - maybe that's because I made it the way I ate it growing up. Or I'm stepping up my spanish food game. Either or.
Tomorrow I have work and then I plan on writing A LOT. I want to finish Chapter 3 of my story. Wish me luck. 

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[51] Night or Day (13)
I cannot believe how quickly today breezed by - rip my weekend.
I spent a majority of the time just talking to friends and playing WoW. I didn't get much writing done because I wanted to relax before the crazy week of work incoming.
I got a Skype call from Linus today. He was talking to me about how he missed the old days when we talked all the time and I actually watched his streams. I was half-hearted when talking to him because he's said the same thing a thousand times and I just...I'm tired of the lies and being disappointed. -_-
The night is ending with me and Anthony watching Once Upon a Time - yay for double episodes! :D 

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[968] lost (32)
god sometimes it's just heavy and far and out of reach and unthinkable that you would ever love me like i love you
i don't think that anyone can, truth be told, but some nights its harder to carry than others
i want you and i want a life and i want to be happy and i want to make you happy (that's not how this works, that's never how this works) and all i can think about is how to do it and all i can think about is how it won't happen 
it's safer as a dream as something i tell myself at night as something that i take to bed with me and leave there when i wake up because i can't lose it. i can't stitch myself back together after that there is no after that and i know people say things like this and i know it's melodramatic but i can't remember what life was like without you and i have no interest in finding out again in the future.
you should be here with me, and you should stay with me, and we should be happy together because that's the only way i know how to be happy sometimes. not because of you, but god, because you give me a place to start at the very least. 

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[50] Path of Least Resistance (13)
Whelp...today is the day - November 14th. A normal day to most but for me, it's a special day. Because on this day, 6 years ago, I met the man who is now my fiance.
I can't believe that six years have passed by so quickly and yet so much stuff has happened since we met. We've both grew so much and yet somehow still manage to love each other and make this crazy thing we have work. It may sound incredibly cheesy, but I knew from the first day I met him that he was the one. I just felt a strong connection/pull for him and he managed to annoy me less than most people I meet do. He was a keeper.
I was always a romantic and I found him right as I was set to give up on the whole love thing.
Fast forward - he's been with me at my lowest points and still finds something in me worth loving. And I've seen him at his worst and I still find him absolutely adorable.
Today was nice. We slept in and then got breakfast together. We watched a movie of my choosing and then played WoW for most of the day. And then for dinner we got Chipotle and watched some Community. For the rest of the night we're just going to spend time together - cuddling and talking and it's going to be as magical as the rest of the day.

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[49] Find A Light (13)
Today was nearly perfect - I can't complain.
I didn't oversleep a billion hours so it was nice to get up when actual normal (what's that?) people wake up. I got up and made lunch for Anthony and I and we watched the new South Park. I like their subtle statement about how people sit there and criticize the police and say we don't need them and then when they get robbed/harmed they want to utilize the same police they had such an issue with before. Our government/law system isn't perfect, but maybe instead of just complaining about it you could actually try and make things better. Study law and become a lawyer, become a police officer so there's one more good officer out there, work hard and get on congress, etc. Anything is better than just bitching about it. Because that helps nobody.
After the episode we played WoW for a bit and Anthony did something really stupid and I got annoyed but that blew over quickly. Hopefully a GM can fix the situation. >.<;;;
I wrote for a bit before making dinner - beef stirfry, his favorite, and then we watched ScreamQueens with our friends. And apparently today was a surprise Ruday so we watched Drag Race again. Totally awesome. :D
The rest of the night is us playing WoW and enjoying our anniversary - which happens to be today!  Squeee! 

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[48] Never Leave (13)
So I woke up early today and went to work. Apparently the fire marshall came and friggen had them move all the file boxes I organized because of a fire danger violation. So essentially weeks of organization was ruined in the span of a day. I wasn't happy. Either way I managed to fix what was messed up and sorted 12 more boxes. So yay me.
Afterwards Anthony picked me up, we got lunch, and we watched some Fresh off the Boat. He left for work and I spent my time WoW'ing and writing. I'm really enjoying my new level 100 mage. Quite a difference from what I'm used to.
He came home and I made dinner - cheeseburgers, french fries, and a new experiment - homemade apple bars.
We ate dinner and watched Rupaul's Drag Race with our besties over Skype. The rest of the night is dedicated to some WoW and a bit of writing. <3 

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[47] Fading Away (14)
Today was hella productive even if I woke up later than I'd have liked.
I finished a chapter of my novel and am well into the next chapter. I'm really excited about this and I can't wait for it to be finished. I actually got my passion back.
Anthony and I did some WoW stuff today and then we spent a great deal of time in Skype talking to our friends, just memeing like always.
For dinner I made tacos with spanish rice. It came out pretty good.

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[46] Decimated Dreams (16)
Today was a pretty chill day. I spent time with Anthony and just relaxed.
Oh, and we actually got stuff done in WoW today - gotta love those reset days.
I also finalized stuff for our trip in January, so that's cool too.
Today was Rusday so we ended up watching two whole episodes with the Skype crew. :D

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567 [ way more cake for me, forever, forever ] (62)
Been working on my site like crazy.
I don't quite know where this sudden inspiration came from.
Can't say I care.
It makes me happy.
Brian and I will get this bitch done.
We're too stoked to play Kai and Reiko.
Because nothing is more exciting...
Than a Karate Bug Man with a Pyrokinetic Rockstar.
I also need to finish up my idea and backstory for Hiki.
Going a new route with her.
Should be interesting.
She's still all the angst.
Because, she's Hikari.
But I really like the angle that I have been playing her with.
Her lack of understanding.
Her inability to understand connections.
Having her be human but not is just how I like playing her.
Far different than what I used to do.
Reiko hasn't changed though.
That girl will always be cray cray.
I need to come up with new character concepts sometimes.
I just end up evolving current ones.
I guess I should just enjoy Sylvia and Micah.
I sometimes  make new characters.

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[45] My Limits (14)
I can't believe I slept so late today -_-
So I found out late last night that I wasn't needed at work today so I'm going in tomorrow and the rest of the week instead. It's really annoying when you're mentally preparing for something and it doesn't happen. Makes me want to stab my boss figure in the eye with a french fry...a SALTED french fry.
Instead I spent the day writing, playing WoW, and just spending time with Anthony - aside from when he went to Physical Therapy and work. He was called in for the extremely late shift because Fallout 4 comes out today so Gamestop needs him for their midnight opening thing. It sucks.
I'll be spending the rest of the night with him once he gets home, so there's that.

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[44] Always So Heated (15)
I woke up alone again today because Anthony had work early ;_;
It's okay because I'm getting paid back this week...I have work almost every day. RIP my life.
I did my normal stuff - writing and the like and watched some more Xena - seriously my favorite show in the entire world besides OuAT.
When Anthony got home I started on dinner and made pancake chicken and spanish rice. We watched community together as always it was hilarious and slightly frustrating (I swear I hate some of the characters on that show >.>)
We also managed to watch some Drag Race with our buddies in Discord. So that was fun.
The rest of the night we're playing WoW together and I'm going to try to avoid the feelings of pain by not thinking about this week. <3 

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[43] Closing In (16)
I think one of the most annoying things about waking up is when you think you're waking up only to fall asleep and then wake up way past when you actually wanted to be awake. I can't be the only one who does that -_-
I got out of bed later than expected and hopped right to working on my novel. I'm actually making progress in it which is really good. I want to get this done before New Years so I can release two in December. Wish me luck!
I think it's kind of odd how easy it is for me to cut people off when they piss me off. Maybe it's the result of being hurt one too many times or maybe just me dealing with enough shit in my life to not want to deal with it anymore. Whatever the cause, it's something I either need to accept or work on. Guess which one I'm doing.
I'm tired of people being idiots. >.>
Anthony was at work all day today so I spent most of my day alone - writing as previously stated, watching Xena, and playing WoW on breaks.
I'm attempting to get back on track tomorrow - I've let my diet slip so far after the last party (that's what I get for taking a day off >.<) I WILL stay on it this time. No excuses, no slip ups, and no mistakes.

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[42] All This Noise (16)
Today was fun.
I woke up early-ish and Anthony told me he wanted me to get ready to leave when he got home from work. I forgot that today was pay day so we had to go and stock the house with groceries!
He came home later than I expected but we left and went to my grandmother's house first to give my stepdad some of the money we owe him and then we went to the local store to buy the stuff we need. 190 dollars later...we had enough food to properly stock up the house.
Anthony dropped me off with the groceries because he had to race to work since they called him in from his second job so I put everything away and organized the whole kitchen, cleaning it too. Later on Anthony came home with a surprise dinner - chinese food! Something I've been craving for months! WOOT! We ate and watched Community.
We spent the rest of the night listening to music and playing WoW. :D 

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[41] Pouring Out (19)
(Entry for 11/05/2015)
So not much of note happened today.
  I didn't have to go into work because they didn't need me and besides there wasn't really enough gas in the car to make it until Anthony gets paid to take me there - having only one car sucks -_-
 Instead I stayed home and did my usual mix of writing, listening to music, and WoW on breaks. Very enjoyable/chill day.
I had food ready for Anthony when he came home from his school break and we watched Community. We haven't watched that show in a while because of all the other shows we keep getting wrapped into so it was nice to finally go back to it. As enjoyable as ever - I love Annie and Troy. <3
For dinner I made us burgers, mac n cheese, and homemade garlic breadsticks which came out surprisingly well - well enough that Anthony told me to make them again. So I shall!
Oh and tickets for my con went on sale today. SQUEE!!! 

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[40] Long Gone (15)
Today was pretty uneventful, unfortunately.
I cleaned up the house. I made apple cider donuts which came out surprisingly well and make chocolate chip cookies (from scratch) for the first time ever.
The situation was the fuckboy was resolved. My friend Jordan talked to Sam (without me asking him to) and she said she was staying out of it and wasn't angry at anybody, which is good because I don't want/need the added stress.
I have some things to figure out for tomorrow because I really want to get my GED and get two books out before the end of the year. I have to push myself.
This is the promise I'm making to myself - that I'll achieve both of those goals. I have to. 

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Dear Gary Fan 333 (36)
Things have been unreal over the past couple of months. My world has been shattered and re-done and shattered and redone again, everything on repeat. Today a part of it finalizes. My parents are divorced. I understand that I am a 22-year old adult and these things happen. I have accepted it in every way possible. But I cannot tell my inner child to be quiet, and to stop yelling in my head "Daddy, don't go. Come back, please". This is what is killing me, the fact that I want to keep my family together just for the sake of being together. They were my foundation... as a family. Now they have to be my foundation apart. I don't know how to deal with that. I don't want to deal with that... I just want to cry in bed and not get out. Again, not the adult thing to do... but its what I would like to do. I feel like it would be a lot better than zombie-ing my way through my life at the moment. But on the other hand I have found love, and faith again. So that will get me through my tough times, right? I actually just hope... since I'm really close to an edge I never wanted to see again. 

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[39] Caught Up In Circles (17)
I woke up today with the worst headache and feeling in my stomach so I didn't go to work. I slept in until I felt rested.
I didn't really do much of note today except work on the sequel to my very first novel, outlining and the like. My vision hasn't changed much but I'm surprised at the level of creativity I had when I was younger. Very proud.
I also had to deal with an annoyance. A friend I no longer talk to because he was toxic decided it would be a good idea to go behind my back to my best friend Sam, and run his mouth and act like the situation of our friendship separation happened totally different than what it did.
To make a long story short - about five or six people in our circle had a problem with this guy so I decided to man up and be the one to tell him I didn't want him around us. He told me he was shocked and accused me of being the only one who had issues with him. I told him that wasn't the case and if he wanted to know he could feel free to ask the others (who were ready to go off but I didn't want it to be a whole thing of everyone attacking him) but he kind of just vanished.
And then for him to turn around and try and get at me through my best friend...he can go fuck himself. I should have let everyone attack him.
Gah. I hope this all blows over by tomorrow and I hope she knows me well enough to know I'm not that kind of person. 

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[38] Bury My Ghost (19)
Today seemed to go by so quickly. I woke up and did my usual stuff. I didn't make breakfast because Anthony was heading to physical therapy so I just ate something small (and unhealthy) by myself to tide over until he came home.
I continued to brainstorm and work on my next novel. I'm laying out the foundations. It's really really inspiring that I'm getting that passionate feeling back. I missed it so much and I need it. Writing is a huge part of me and I want to do it. I just lost the spark. And whoosh...it's been found again.
I find myself missing Ashley, Dennis, and Co. I usually don't take to people so well, so quickly, but they just have a nice aura about them and it makes me feel comfortable/safe. Anthony understands it so he told me I could go over whenever I wanted - I.E. he'd personally help me get there. He's really sweet.
I feel the whispers of depression calling out to me and I am doing my best to ignore them. I need to be strong. I can't let it drag me down again. I've gone almost a year without it rearing it's ugly head (I don't know why it always seems to attack me at this time of year) but I'm going to fight it. I won't let it beat me. I won't.
I just need to keep busy and I need to keep my mind on things. I can do it.
Tomorrow I go back to work. Ugh. But I'll be making money. That's always good. 

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[37] Just Temporarily (16)
Sleep is fun when you get it, but not when you don't.
I woke up early, super early, and I went downstairs and talked to people. I love hanging out with Ashley and her family - they're so close and it's just so refreshing. My family isn't that close.
Everyone got ready and then we left and they dropped me home. I missed Anthony, tons. After his nap we ended up going to the supermarket and picking up a few things and then we got dinner together and watched Simpsons.
And then we Skyped with people.
The rest of the night we're going to just watch stuff together. We deserve a stressfree night. 

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[36] All Of Me (16)
I had to wake up early today because I decided to go to my friend Ashley's house to go trick or treating with her family and my aunt.
Ashley picked me up with her adorable niece and cute nephew in the car and we had lots of fun on the drive back to her home. When we got there she started cooking this huge like....Halloween feast for us all and it was really good.
I took a few minutes to organize my costume which wasn't too creative but it got the job done, and then we all went out trick or treating. It was an interesting evening. You forget how exhausting it is to walk across a whole town...I mean when I was a kid I don't think I even got tired. Maybe it was just because of the prospect of candy. Anyway, some kids were whining but in all it was fun. I even got some candy in the process.
After we got done, my aunt went home and then it was just Ashley and co. We ended up having a late night dinner and watching Jack and Jill (Adam Sandler) and laughing our asses off. It was equally as funny as when I saw it years ago.
I then spent the rest of my night in my room reading until I passed out. 10/10. 

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[35] Rain Starts Pouring (15)
So today was interesting.
Anthony and I slept in and then we got up and went to my new favorite place....yup, you guessed it, the apple farm. We decided that we wanted to pick a couple pounds of Stayman Winesap since it's the end of the season and we wouldn't be able to pick them again for a whole year. And we actually learned that the little store near the farm is open year round so we'll definitely be going back for the organic products.
We came home and had lunch - tacos of course - and watched some Simpsons. After that, we played WoW for a bit. It's so nice when he has a day off too because then we can spend the entire day just being together and it's nice and stuff. :3
We jumped in the Skype call and talked to friends.
In the process I also got into a mini-argument with Scott. It started because I basically told him how he's stubborn and really needs to work on it. He has the hardest taking advice and it's not very endearing because then when shit goes south he expects everyone to care...well maybe I would if you actually listened when the situation was first happening and I tried to help you. He doesn't get it. And then he said well what about when he gives advice. And I told him that I do take it into consideration, but since he's younger I kinda don't put it as high as the advice from those older than me around my age. He got uber offended. But like, I learned (and he will too) experiences and lessons come with time. And someone of his age won't know as much as a person who's older than him. Sometimes, yes, but more often than not, no. So it's annoying.
I have to formulate a response for him tomorrow. But until then, the rest of the night I'm just going to chill. I'm going over my friend Ashley's house tomorrow for some Trick or Treating with her and the kids. Just observing, not participating. But should be fun. :D 

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[34] Rule and Control (16)
I apologize for the late entry. Sometimes you just get caught up in things and forget XD
So I woke up and went to work. Not only did I have to do my normal stuff of shuffling files but I also had to move these large pieces of wood into storage which doesn't seem that taxing but it really was. The only good thing is that I noticed I'm over 75% done with the current job I'm doing - I still have more stuff after but this is the annoying tast.
After Anthony came and picked me up in between classes, we had lunch and watched the new South Park episode. OMG it was so amazing and cute. They dealt with shipping and yaoi and it was just adorable and funny.
I cleaned up the house and played WoW/watched Xena. When Anthony came home, since we were full from lunch, we just Skyped with friends. And watched Rupaul's Drag Race. Ruesday on Thursday. :P
I also made a killer apple pie last night. Sooooo tasty. 

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[33] Slice of Heaven (19)
I think I need to stop staying up so late and reading. It really diminishes the amount of sleep I get.
I got up at like 1:30 and continued my ritual of writing, then taking a break to play WoW, all while watching Xena. Anthony went to work and then I cleaned up the entire house, top to bottom. I feel the need to at least once a week or once every other week because I can't stand the mess/clutter. I need it to be nice. A huge contrast from how I grew up.
When Anthony got home I made dinner - fried fish and french onion pasta. And we watched Simpsons again.
Ugh the day went by so fast and work is tomorrow. Pray for me, Sitdiary, pray for me. At least it's money, right? >.>

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[32] Push It Down (17)
So today was my first day back to work. And getting up early was, for once, not a struggle.
I didn't get much done because Anthony's mother kept bothering me. I'm like dude, I'm here to work not to listen to you ramble on. But whatever, I get paid hourly...not by how much I've done so meh.
Anthony picked me up and I was home before 5. We got halloween donuts and watched Freshoff the Boat - another amazing show, you should watch if you can. Hilarious.
After he left, I played WoW and watched some Xena: Warrior Princess, it's become my new daily ritual. I kept it up until around the time when he came home and then it was time for me to enjoy "Ruesday" with the friends.
During all this I got into another disagreement with Scott. I don't like how he conducts himself sometimes. He's at the same place I was at his age, yet he doesn't realize that you can't blame all your actions on your problems. Sometimes you have to own what you do and make a conscious effort to be better. You need to rise above your pain. Being reckless isn't a good thing. You need to be smart. So I made the decision to not talk to him for the rest of the night to cool down. I'm not sure what I'm going to say to him tomorrow but I hope I feel less annoyed.
 I made dinner and then we watched some Simpsons. Pretty great day.

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Ode to a mouse problem (61)
I picked up your broken little body this morning.
And last night.
And your commerades before that.
You all were placed rather ceremoniously into old grocery bags and then marched to the garbage.
Its as much a funeral as any.
You're all desperately trying to get into this shitty little basement while I try and find a feasible way out.
This must be how a celebrity feels...
Not realizing that they have it made
Just clinging to there sanity while every other god damned living thing scratches at their belongings.
All while trying not to get eaten by the cat.

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[31] In Love With A Ghost (19)
Ugh - today went by way too quickly for my liking.
So I overslept hella amount for some odd reason. I've been waking up uber early so I guess my body needed to rejuvenate or something. I feel rested, but it's still annoying. Damn you, sleep!
I got out of bed, made breakfast, and watched some Xena: Warrior Princess. Anthony made comments in the background about the show as always. When he went to work, I played some WoW. Pet battle stuff like always. I'm addicted to those fucking adorable pixels.
After/During I talked to David on Skype for a bit. I helped him with some stuff. And then I left to cook dinner before Anthony got home. On the menu today was Egg Fried Rice + Pancake Chicken. It sounds weird but it's hella delicious.
Anthony came home and we ate while watching Courage the Cowardly Dog. Then we got in Skype with David + Michael and watched some Drawn Together. If you haven't heard of the show, look it up and watch it. Seriously. It's one of the most lovingly/hilariously offensive shows ever. It would NEVER have made it past three episodes today, let alone three seasons. The social justice baby crowd would have tore it to shreads.
Anthony and I had a small disagreement but we "paused" the argument. Hopefully with time we'll both think about the situation and come up with a resolution. Nothing is ever that serious, right?
The rest of the night is dedicated to writing, more Xena: Warrior Princess, and whatever else.

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Twisted Chapter 24 (45)
Her eyes fluttered and she rolled onto her side, pushing the voice away.  Holding the pillow tighter in her hand, she took a deep breath and felt the pressure settling in her head again.
She pushed herself up in bed and raked her hands through her tasseled hair.  Heat began to rise within and she looked over at her fire pit.  Flames lept to life and left her cooling down.  She let out a sigh and pushed the bedding off.  Climbing to her feet, she felt flames running underneath her skin and walked into the bathing chamber.
Stripping out of her clothes, she waded into the hot spring and swam across the spring.  The hot water counteracted the fire burning inside and she felt the strain and tension finally release.  Stilling her swimming, she allowed herself to sink to the bottom of the spring and let her mind clear.
Kicking to the surface, she took a deep breath after breaking water and looked at the intruder.  Her annoyance faded when she met Joseph's black eyes and he held up a warm towel.  Slowly she walked up to him and he wrapped her in the soft fabric.  His hand slid through her wet hair and he breathed her in.
"Are you okay?"
He wrapped an arm around her waist and walked her back into the bedroom.  Her towel rested on the floor and he watched her dress in a pair of jeans and a white long sleeved shirt.  She swept her hair up off her neck and pulled on a pair of socks.  Sitting on the bed, she began lacing up her boots and he knelt in front of her.
"Talk to me."
"I keep hearing him."
Kara put her boot on the floor and sighed.  She stood up and stepped around Joseph, looking for courage to speak.
He caught her arm and made her look back at him.  This kind of aggitation he hadn't seen from her in years and it left him uneasy.
"Who is talking to you?"
"My father."
Joseph met her green gaze and wrapped her in his arms.  She breathed him in and tried focusing on his heart beat.  She needed normal right now and this was the safest normal she knew.
"He died."
"I know.  I was there Joseph."
"Are you sure?"
She took a deep breath and said "I hear his voice and feel his blood inside me burning."
He looked down at her again and said "We need to talk with Emily."
Before she could argue he caught her elbow and escorted her from their chambers.  She felt him release her once in the hall to keep from drawing attention but his body was only inches away from her to keep her from retreating.  Reluctantly she led the way to her mother's chambers and stepped inside.  The place felt empty and after checking each room she let out a sigh.
"She's not here."
"Then we talk to Leon."
"You hate him."
"He can help you."
They stepped back into the hallway and she followed him down to Leon's chambers.  The man was listening to reports and they lingered in the corner.  She couldn't keep from shifting her weight from leg to leg and Joseph caught her hand.  He felt her pulse beginning to race and her skin begin to warm against his.   Her eyes closed momentarily but he felt the pressure stabbing at her.
After minutes of agony, the room was finally empty and Leon looked over at them.  He took a seat and studied Joseph carefully.
"I'm surprised to see you.  Have your reconsidered?"
"I'm not here for you."
The man frowned but turned his focus on his granddaughter.  She slowly met his gaze and he listened carefully.  Her pulse was racing and he caught a bead of sweat slipping down her neck.
"Kara, what is it?"
She cleared her throat and swallowed the lump forming in her throat.  Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and tried to push all the chaos out of her head.
"I need to know about phoenix regeneration."
Leon stared at her in silence and glanced over at her mate.  One hand rested on her wrist but his gaze was on Leon.  He was judging the man's words before they came out.
"This is about your father."
"Just tell me."
"Kara, I can assure you there is no traces of him.  Your mother searched for years to no end."
She stood up and said "You lying."
"I am not."
"Then how can I hear him calling me?"
Leon stood up and placed his hands on her face.  Joseph remained by her side in his seat but felt the man's mind press against her walls.  She slowly allowed Leon into her mind and took hold of a strengthening hand as he followed the trail of fire in her thoughts.
"Get out Leon"
The man pulled back quickly and Joseph caught her as she stumbled back.  Leon took an unsteady seat and caught his breath.  The push driving him out was pure fire and possessive.  He knew that voice well and the power behind it.  Slowly he looked back at Kara and met her shaken gaze.
"I don't understand."
"It's him."
Leon slowly nodded and let out a sigh.  He had no idea how to move forward in locating Michael but he knew his daughter would.
"Have you seen your mother?"
Joseph caught Kara's shaking hands and said "We stopped there first.  She wasn't in."
Leon raked a hand through his blonde hair and said "She told me she never found your father but I'm beginning to think she did."
"Why wouldn't she tell me?"
"When a phoenix is reborn, there can be a period of disorientation and violence.  If Emily felt Michael was a danger to you, she would do everything to keep you safe."
"She was gone my whole life.  How long could he have been back?"
"I found him three years ago."
They looked towards the door and found Emily standing just inside the room.  She seemed distant and met her daughter's gaze slowly.
"I was working on reconnecting his memories when Joseph came to me for help.  I didn't think I would have stayed away this long but now I see he has found a way to reach you."
"I need to see him Mother."
She shook her head.  "Your father is very unstable.  I can't guess whether he is whole or fractured each time I see him until we speak.  It's too risky."
"He is calling to me.  His blood in me is reacting.  I feel like I'm burning alive."
Emily sighed and said "I cannot allow you to see him until he is better.  I don't know if he will get better."
Joseph stood up slowly and said "I'll go."
Kara looked up at him and said "You cannot fight him off."
"I stand a better chance thanks to you."
Leon glanced back at his granddaughter and asked "What does he mean by that?"
She ignored the question and stared back at her mate.  He was serious about leaving after she just got him back on his feet.  She shook her head and looked back at her mother.
"I'll go with Joseph.  I will need you to keep Mikhail safe until we hare back."
"It's not safe for you to be around him."
"He needs me.  I'm going."
Emily shook her head in defeat and Kara walked up to her.  The woman studied her eyes and nodded.  She knew she couldn't stop her daughter and looked back at her protector.
"If he tries anything you put him down."
Joseph nodded and followed Kara from the room.

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[30] Stare Politely (17)
Okay, I know I was supposed to update the other one but I'll just combined today's day and yesterday's day in one big entry. It'll be awesome, watch.
So yesterday I woke up at my friend Ashley's house, Anthony dropped me off late Friday night. Anyway, first thing in the morning Ash sent her boyfriend Dennis out to get us bagels and then after we ate breakfast we set up for their halloween party.
Let me just say, that party was crazy. It was in my top 10 craziest parties, hands down. I got way drunker than I intended to (10 jello shots, 15 regular shots and like 7 mixed drinks) and I don't even know what else. On top of that two of the couples attending got into fights, some kids were being bad, and there was some crying. All in all, really fun.
I ended up going to bed at like 5 AM and before the kids I was supposed to be watching. I woke up the next morning and found out all the devious shit the kids did when all the adults were sleeping. Damn them!
After cleaning up, Ashley and I quickly made a cake because the next party was a birthday party for my God-Daughter! It was her very first birthday. It was loads of fun and just really nice to huggle her and see her open her presents.
Afterwards I went back to my aunt's house where I looked at my youngest cousin's case file to learn more about his illness so I can write a book with a character like him. And then I was surprised by Anthony, who arrived early and picked me up.
It was nice seeing him again and even though it was only a few days, it felt like forever and I couldn't stop cuddling with him.
At home, I made dinner and then we watching the new episode of OuAT.

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[29] Overload (23)
I'm credibly intoxicated. Will edit v later.

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[28] Carry On (15)
So today was interesting.
I woke up and immediately started working on the candy stuff I had to finish for friends birthdays. And then after I was all done I sent the stuff out with Anthony as he had to go to work.
I got into an argument with Linus (which was well overdue) because he attacked me. Me and the rest of the group were watching him stream and he was acting like a tool because a girl was in chat that he was talking to and we were memeing about it. He got mad and then singled me out and starting yelling at me. He always does shit like that. Difference is, this time, I had people on my side and he basically had to back away.
So after that awkward situation the rest of us got in a call and spoke about what happened. He did apologize to a few of us, but I don't know if I want to forgive him. Time will tell.
I have to go to a friend's house down in Little Egg Harbor for the weekend because Anthony is going on a trip and I have two birthday parties to attend. It should be fun but I'll miss him and my computer. Three days without WoW and my boyfriend. Kill me.
I have hope though. 

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[27] Savior of the Broken (18)
I love my taste in music.
Anyway, it took some effort to force myself out of bed and I was glad I did because it was kind of late. I did that annoying thing where I woke up and my bed was too warm and comfy and I fell back asleep. I hate that.
Anthony and I got into a tiny argument over something stupid before he left to school. We resolved it but meh, I need to learn to control my temper better. And he with his. It's a work in progress. I'm glad we're both patient and love each other so much or else this wouldn't work.
I did some Hallow's End stuff in WoW and then Skyped with people. We played Board Game Online and a few party games. It was really fun.
I made dinner - beef stir fry and the rest of the night is dedicated to WoW, baking, and talking to friends. Not a bad way to spend the night.
I'll close this with a personal thought - I had a really good friend a few months ago. We became extremely, extremely close and he hurt me. He broke the trust I had for him because he got scared because he wasn't who he thought he was and I brought a different side out of him. And for that, I'm sorry - but he fucked up.
So this is directed to him.
You know that what you did is wrong. You know that trying to turn all my friends against me and spouting all those lies about me was wrong. You know how good of a friend I was to you. How much shit I endured for you. How I was always there for you whenever you needed me. And hope I did my best to give you everything you wanted/needed. And you hurt me.
And it's not okay. It never will be.
You need to admit it and hopefully you'll understand it one day and apologize. 

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[26] Room Inside (17)
Another late entry. Ugh.
I'm sorry. In my defense, I think you used to be able to change the date on sitdiary and if not that should totally be a feature because if I want my entry to be posted a day earlier I should have that convenience damn it.
Anyway, I woke up same time as always and jumped into the normal stuff. We watched the last episode of Scream Queens today. It was a really good one. I think the next episode is going to be ridiculous judging by the promo.
Anthony left to work and I got ready to do my stream thing. Yes, I finally streamed after 3 weeks of not streaming. I went back to my roots...big time. I did "emo mike" for halloween. For those who don't know, Emo Mike was the guy who started this diary. If you want to get to know him, read the first couple of entries, haha. I joke a lot but I'm still that same guy - just different perspective on things. And I've matured hella much. That was totally proper speaking. >.>
I played Hello Kitty, some Donkey Kong Country 3, and then finished with Hearthstone. I stayed in character for the entire steam which was good.
After that, Anthony came back home and we ate dinner. I helped him with his essay (ugh it's awful and the class is terrible) but got it done. Hopefully his teacher likes it.
The rest of the night is devoted to late night job and WoW. Bring it on. 

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[25] Whisper To Me (17)
So last night wasn't too difficult, nor too annoying.
We got done with the job around 6ish (so like 2.5 hours of work) and then went to bed - I, of course, read a bit before sleeping. And then we woke up at 1 PM. I'm glad we didn't oversleep because there's nothing worse than a ruined sleep schedule. Well, except being gangraped by dolphins...but that doesn't count.
I got up, ate breakfast, and finished watching the last Twilight movie. It wasn't too bad...though the dream sequence thing was kind of weird. After that, Anthony and I played WoW and did some things together. I also watched Linus stream which was cool.
I went to my grandmother's house to pick up a few things like oil, butter, and some knives because supplies were running low over here and she was kind enough to help us out. It's nice that she's doing something for adult me while kid me suffered. But that's another matter for another entry.
After that Anthony and I got dinner - it was slightly unhealthy but meh. And then it was home for three hours of drag race with our besties. It's like a tuesday ritual thing.
The agenda for the rest of the night is WoW and then work again. Wish me luck. 

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[24] Rise and Fall (17)
Greetings, from the neverending day!
 So I woke up today and I made breakfast for Anthony and myself. Chocolate chip pancakes were on the menu. He told me he loved how I always put one heart-shaped pancake on the top of his plate. I'll do that as long as I love him, which will be forever, so he should be used to it by now. :P
After breakfast (we watched the next OuAT episode!) we played WoW for the next few hours - doing mount runs. He collects mounts and I collect pets. There are a LOT of the fuckers in the game. Collectables will be the death of us. When it was time for him to get ready for work, we both logged off.
He left and I proceeded to watch more of my movie and get ready to do some baking. And I may have also Skyped with a few lovely people...for a couple of hours. Damn distractions. The call was certainly interesting, too.
When Anthony got home I made dinner - tacos - and another apple cobbler. He brought home ice cream so it should be even better.
Our day is going to be extended because we're doing a job for someone tonight....at 3:00 AM so that'll be annoying. But money. Ugh. Can't you just get money by doing nothing? I wish. >.>
So until we have to go to hell we're going to enjoy apple cobbler and play WoW. And then snuggle. Because love. 

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[23] Physically Crafted (14)
Got a decent amount done today.
I woke up earlier than I did yesterday which was good because I had a hella amount of stuff to do. I got up and messed around for a bit before eating breakfast and watching some OuAT.
I proceeded to vaccuum and clean the entire house top to bottom in preparation for Anthony's arrival home. I figured it would be nice for him to come home to a spotless house. Not that our house was dirty or anything, but we accumulated a lot of clutter in the last week because of all the stuff we've been doing. So I fixed that. Took me a few hours but it was worth it. The house is all shiny and new looking. I also moved some stuff around.
After that, I played around in RPG Maker while talking to some people on Skype. That was also fun. I also played WoW for a bit.
After I was done, made an apple cobbler. It was a painstaking process, let me tell you. I had to peel all the apples, finely chop them, and then mix the dry ingredients. But it came out amazingly.
When Anthony came home we hugged for like a few minutes and kissed like a once-upon-a-time thing. :P He definitely missed me as much as I missed him.
After he woke up from his nap, I made dinner and we watched the next episode of Scream Queens. It was just as funny as the previous ones.
The rest of the night has been devoted to Skype calls with friends and playing WoW - doing Hallow's End stuff. WOOT. 

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[22] Sky and Rain (18)
First night sleeping alone in a long time was rough as hell. I'm used to wake up next to Anthony or being woken up by him. It was a sad change. But only two nights without him. I'll survive.
I got up and made my usual breakfast - oatmeal with maple syrup and cinnamon. And I was immediately pulled into call with my friend, David. It was pretty chill. He's a cool guy. I didn't expect it to last as long as it did...but two hours later...Anthony called! I jumped in call with him and caught up on his first day of training.
I played WoW and talked to some other people on Skype. It was also chill. 
I then did the dishes, cleaned up a bit, and made dinner and watched Once Upon a Time. I can't get enough of the show. It became really late somehow and I found myself in another Skype call - which was interrupted by my best friend Samantha. She was calling because her and her boyfriend broke up and I had to be there for her, Anthony and I, had to be there for her. ;_; 

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[21] Slipping Away (15)
(this is a late entry but it was meant to be for 10/16/2015 I forgot to send it)
I actually managed to work out today, that was good. I missed two days. It sucks because sometimes you're achy and don't feel like working out but you know you HAVE to or else you'll never do it again. I'm determined to lose this weight before January. I really hope I do.
I found myself in a long Skype call today. I spent like 3 hours talking to the gang. Linus came by at the end and he was definitely trying to get my attention. I ignored him for the most part because I knew exactly what he was doing. He does something to upset me or whatever and then tries to ignore it and act like it didn't happen. Wrong, bitch, not going to happen. My one friend David was nice enough to order me pizza for dinner so that was a nice surprise.
Unfortunately, Anthony has to go on a weekend trip for work so I'm going to be alone ;_; I know it doesn't seem like that big of a deal but I could seriously count the amount of days we've been apart since we first met like on two hands. We've just almost always been together. It's weird not sleeping next to him or waking up to him.
He came home after work and we chilled for a bit and then he left. I spent the rest of my night playing WoW, watching Once/the next Twilight movie, and reading. I miss him.  

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[20] Lost And Forgotten (18)
Another tiring day.
 I woke up right before Anthony went to school. He left and I watched some Once while waiting for him to come home so we could do our errands. When he was almost home I hopped in the shower with Melanie Martinez guiding me. I love her music.
He collected me and we went to the dollar store so I could buy some stuff for my Halloween costume. And then we went to Taco Bell for lunch. It was kind of romantic since it was the place we first got feelings for each other and where we used to go to eat every other day. After eating tacos we went to Michaels arts and crafts so I could buy the supplies for the birthday gifts I'm making for a few close friends.
I had to stop at the grocery store and buy some gluten free cake mix and icing because one of my friends has a disease and if he eats gluten it'll cause bad things to happen to his body -_-;;;
We got home and he had to go back to his second class. I spent my time cleaning up and I watched the next Twilight movie. It wasn't bad, but wasn't amazing, either.
I made dinner - cheesy pasta and pork roll sandwiches. And we watched Scream Queens. It's such a funny show. It's a play on all those cheesy horror movies of the 90's mixed with comedy. Really great.
Yeah...I don't know what else to say. So bye! 

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[19] Break The Bullet (20)
Today was fucking exhausting. Yes, FUCKING exhausting.
We woke up at the wee hours of the morning, left our cozy bed and hopped in the shower. We left almost immediately. Our first stop was back to the orchard to get breakfast (those donuts were calling our name) and to get some more Stayman Winesap Apples because they were to die for and I have a couple of recipes I can use them for. Unfortunately, the donuts weren't as fresh - the donut window was closed...so we instead bought the ones in the store. Bah.
We then left and had to endure an hour drive to the nearest Microcenter so Anthony could buy all of the parts needed to assemble his PC. I also bought some stuff (new graphics card, new power supply, and a second monitor) I needed those upgrades badly to improve my gaming.
We went back down and then went foodshopping. I bought some necessary stuff to make gifts for people. I know a lot of baking is in my future.
After he dropped me off home, he had to go to work so I stayed home and chilled. I cleaned up a bit and somehow ended up watching Twilight: The Movie. Yes, I've somehow been reduced to that. It wasn't as bad as I thought.
When he got home I decided to make dinner while he helped me assemble my computer...except it wouldn't come on. We ate dinner and took another crack at it, didn't work. Finally, after two hours of struggle, we figured out what was wrong and fixed the problem...and I'm typing on the new computer as we speak. So yay!
Here's hoping tomorrow is as good!

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