1:15 Early Thursday Afternoon   Yet More Strange Dreams Other than that i watched an elephant paint a picture on Youtube the other day and I have been thinking about getting another job so i can move out and live with Ang and Amy, I have no explanation for yesterday's dream. Last night's dream was far scarier and more sad and I didn't wake up feeling puzzled or slightly scared about being wrongly accused of robottery. I just woke up feeling sad and scared. Mom got sick and didn't make it. Dad, Chels and I went on a road trip somewhere, and I was driving. Dad got way angry and yelled at me, and the next thing I know we've been in a car wreck and the car, my sister, and I are fine. Dad is dead. I wasn't sure what to do so I just drove back to our house, thinking all the while about how i do not know what to do, and for some reason there was a massive party of all my parents friends. I stood up on a table and told everyone that my parents are dead, when my dad walks in (as a ghost), and tries to kill me. Paul rescues me and chelsea and when I wake up, we're on our way to some place where dad can't find us. Here is my interpretation: I am scared about growing up and leaving the nest. I am scared about not being under parental supervision anymore, and being left to my own devices. I fear that when this happens, when I DO finally leave, Dad will continue to exert a forceful presence in my life and try to make all my decisions for me. Paul rescues me because he's my boss, i work for him to earn money which is the key to my freedom from my childhood and parents (and also the lock on my cage of responsibilities). I'm not sure what Chelsea has to do with it. it could be that i'm also worried about being responsible not only for myself but for her while we're in a foreign country for 6 and a half weeks. I don't know. these dreams are messing me up. Caleb never came online yesterday so I feel sad that I didn't get to talk to him. It's fine though, he's been really busy and stressed. I guess I'm coming more and more to terms with the fact that I probably won't get that house that i wanted so badly. there will always be more fish in the sea. more houses on the market. just ...maybe not the right ones.