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Feeling: confused
9:38 Tuesday Night   Insure Alike New Appearance Today was so average. absolutely nothing of interest happened. I mean besides spilling blue screen-printing gunk on my shirt and spending interval dabbing my shirt with water. I did go to caleb's after school though. That was nice. we actually worked on english this time and got stuff done. then i went home, had dinner, and I shot a roll of film. We had dinner as a family tonight. Daddy said something funny and then mum said something funny and so I giggled. Giggling turned to laughing and laughing turned to hysterical laughing and hysterical laughing tuned to sobbing/screaming. Then I sat trying not to cry in my chair with an empty plate and an empty glass and an empty mind focused only on the now-silent tears rolling down big, jutting cheeks. I exused myself to my room and hopped under the covers and wanted to cry more but I couldn't make myself cry even though I really need a good cry because things are getting so sad. Things with him are so good and they get better every day and so every day is one day nearer to leaving him and so every day is one day sadder. And I shouldn't dwell on that because I have to maximise my time and be brilliant and take pictures and make memories and not cry. But maybe it's okay to cry on occasion.
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Thank you, I suppose, although I'd prefer not to have to write it.

The thing about my numbness is that I know it's there. It would be quite a good feeling if I didn't know it was there but I can feel something that's missing and I recognise it's my feelings.
Man I feel so loved. :)
I used to sit there and comment on EVERYONES diary every day. and then sit diary kindof wore off, and my dad started getting stricter with the computer..
But I still read as much as I can : ) And you always have interesting stories.

<33
The numbness I feel, I know it's there, I just can't 'get rid' of it. I want to feel again, the good with the bad.

I think I'm scared of being hurt again, the last time I truly felt like I was feeling something, I spent a whole night talking to someone and I spent the night in their arms (we didn't do anything) and then found out they didn't like me.

I know it seems shallow but that broke me.
Your situation is so sad that I could cry right now for you. I'm too empathic sometimes.

I hope everything is bearable when the time to say good bye comes, because I think good is unreachable.

**hugs**

I hope it's okay to cry sometimes. I think it's okay anyway.
[Anonymous]
I know exactly what you mean.
And sometimes its just like...diaries are their private things..publicly..if that makes sense?

<33
For spring break we were all going to drive down in my van to st. george or something and stay in scotts condo...but..the other night daddy said no. I guess the fact that it would be me and 6 guys kinda freaked him out. It's not like I would do anything, and they wouldn't either...dahh! It makes me mad simply because they said I could go, and now I can't...and now they don't have enough vehicles....grr..daddy ruined everything. lol..oh well.
It's perfectly fine to cry, otherwise you'd keep it all inside and eventually explode. I love you Teresa. I know that things are getting harder and harder for you. Just know that I am ALWAYS here if you need to talk to someone. *hugs*