-30 (28)

Feeling: confused
I brought Scott with me to Inside Out. Aaron was there! (he's the man) and also his girlfriend, Tori, who was cute. I liked her. And stupid Dave in a burst of brilliance separated the two "couples" for our activity... Anyway, the whole thing was pretty fun. Heh. Um. So here's where I'm confused. Why were you shaking so badly when we were ... in my car...? I felt it and it worried me. Were you okay? I love you... So this morning I couldn't wake up. I woke up, yeah, but I didn't -get- up. I even went to bed at a reasonable time. I stayed in bed and slept in 15 minutes (hey, its a lot for me), and I told myself I'd get up at 6:15. So I woke up every 2 minutes worried that it was 6:15 and it pissed me off because I didn't get a decent sleep. Stupid waking up! So I got dressed and "did" my hair and washed my face and put on some concealer to hide those nazty pimplz. And I ate cookies and drank milk for breakfast. And I thought about my dog. And I thought about how everything dies. And I noticed that my family hardly notices anymore, but I can't even play with our other dog without bursting into tears. But it got me thinking. When you go away, everyone promises that they'll miss you and they cry a lot, but eventually they stop thinking about you. It's natural. People who I know who've moved away and I haven't kept contact with I barely miss. But people who move away and I do keep contact with...I always find myself thinking, "Man I wish I could hang out with him/her, he/she's so awesome. I miss him/her so much." But when my Grampa died, everyone was devastated for a month and then sort of stopped thinking about him, more or less. The only person who I know of that still truly misses him is my own father. Who still wishes he could call his dad and talk to him about computers and the latest technologies. I miss my dog. Nothing in this life is fair, but it is life, and it must be worth something...
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thanks. sometimes guys can be so fucking confusing. i hate it. but i like guys alot=)