8:12 Monday Morning   Make your Own Damn Fun You know what pisses me off? Needless complaints. I understand complaints like, "Da da da, my feet hurt," even if they are annoying, I understand them because your feet do hurt and there's not much you can do about it really, it's annoying but understandable. "Da da da, I'm so bored," now that is a complaint that I hate. If you are anyone with an imagination you should be able to get over boredniss easily. Even if all you have to do to be not bored is sing. Or draw pictures. Even in class, you can drift out of boredom into fantasy land (that's what I do when classes get boring and I can't sing). Dances. Like, Stake dances. Everyone goes and then they come back and they say it was sooooo boring. If it was boring, why did you go? If you know it's going to be boring, why go? It boggles my mind. If you're going to go anyway, then do something, for fuck's sake, don't just stand there going "oh i am so bored." "yes me too." "bored bored bored." "yes indeed." You. yes, you. You waste your life away like this, and it's the only chance on earth you have. Yesterday isn't coming back, just because you didn't use it right. Because you wasted yesterday. And your life is so full of wasted yesterdays. Get up. I mean it. Get up and do a fucking dance. I am so mad at you right now, dance, dammit. Ask your next-door-neighbour, your 80-year-old neighbour to dance. Don't wanna dance? Sing. Draw a picture. Make up a song. Write a story. Do exersises. Just stop complaining to me. Shut up. I don't want to hear your shit. ----------------- 9:29 p.m. Today was a pretty good day, so I'm ready for your shit again. :) Just prepare to hear the truth. I feel so special. I was reading the newspaper, and said outloud, "oh so sad," and my little sister asked, "what?" so I started reading it from the beginning, outloud. Daddy turned off the TV and actually listened to me. It was good, like praise, except that he probably didn't actually turn off the TV, just muted it. And he was probably only listening to see how many words I'd fuck up the pronunciations of. But I got more attention than the TV for once, I think. And I didn't get yelled at for talking when there weren't commercials. Yay! And that i feel so special makes me sad, sadder than the article made me, sad because the TV seems to get more attention than I do. Which I know isn't true, right? Because my daddy loves me. But I suppose all I can remember right now are all the times I've wanted to ask him a question or talk to him about something and being "SHHH"ed at, "Wait for the Commercial!" and the angry expression that accompanies the impatient phrase. I hate these lumps in my throat that make me feel like im gonna cry. Today was such a good day, I'm just getting hung-up on this detail. Also I'm not happy that I haven't been able to get along with my sister much today. I don't know, Chelsea? I'm sorry. ={ I'm so mean. Zeb says: "Still sucking..." hahahhahahahahaa.