Took my 65 dollar walk today. Sigh. I'm scared what this weekend will entail. Didn't I say that I'd be pissed if I moved this Desert Star date to a different day to accomodate Natalie and Art and then be totally pissed when they end up not coming? Well, here I am. Pissed. Their excuse? No money. Legitimate. Why didn't they tell me this before the tickets sold out? They didn't even allow time for help. I planned this a month in advance, purposely. For them. So they could plan, save, ask whatever they had to do. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I want to say thanks in advance. "It's to know that you were there Thanks for actin' like you cared. And makin' me feel like I was the only one. It's nice to know we had it all. Thanks for watching as I fall" A part of me doesn't want to have this get together anymore. Another part says it's going to be spoiled by Natalie and Art trying to make up for it. A part of me feels that Jordan will make me feel stress. A part of me feels like I'll screw it all up with my attitude. A part of me HATES birthdays and 'surprise parties' and attention period. A part me just wants to go numb. Another part just wants to hide this weekend. Getting boss ready for court now...