I was watching a show the other night and there was a person with a really strange name.. i thought it was pretty cool. not the name just the fact that it was weird. actually a lot of people are naming their kids weird names lately. which is great because I love randomness and weird names are just the best.. the incredible hulk is a little much for timmy.. haha or anyone but me. but after watching the show I started thinking about names for when we have babies and i came up with a few that are soo adorable.. and weird but not too weird for timmy. one imparticular that he actually likes but I cant say.. i want to. but i cant. because last time i wrote a baby name i wanted in this diary, someone took it! :[ so no more. but its cute cute cute. :{ I cant wait to have babies.. not the labor part just the babies having. lol. Dont you ever just want to hold a baby? but you cant because theres none around? Is that weird. but theyre soo cute. I think we'll have the cutest babies. they'll come out alisha and amelia's skin tone probably and have green eyes like timmy :] anyways...
Im staying at tim's this weekend. I am having mother issues. She's soo over the top with her nonsense sometimes. i dont understand her and so i choose not to and stay as far away from her for as long as possible. or until monday.
we called the lady to schedule an appointment to see that apartment but she was too busy so we're going on sunday. I cant wait. I want that apartment really bad. it has everything we want and more. a huge upgrade from this place. not that this pace is bad. but it'd be nice to paint the walls something less.. white?
I've been really questioning my decisions lately. not like I dont like where things are going.. just sometimes its hard not to think about it. like how such a small detail can change the entire course of your life. some things that you cant even see until later. And it makes me wonder about all the possibilities that were around me that I didnt take or overlooked or blew off.. how would my life look? does everything happen for a reason? is there really such thing as fate and destiny and all that nonsense? sounds too simple to me. if I were set to make all my decisions just to end up in a certain place, would I? or no matter the decisions I made, would I be where I was "destined" to be? thats kinda stupid. I guess its a stupid thing to think about considering how great things are. maybe its the fact that in october i thought we were so torn apart that we could never be together and if we were, it'd probably be more screwed up than before.. but its not just better its what I wanted. Maybe Im a self sabatoger. I think Im just a little afraid that it will go away as easily as it came back. Hum. Jeni's like to ramble into the wee hours of the night.
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