I talked to my brother last night. Missed him. He just broke up with his gf. So he is sad. I didnt like her that much tho. SHe wasnt good for him. But, he really liked her so I feel bad.

Well this hot or not thing is funny... I am a 7.1 at the moment. my highest point yet was a 7.3. haha. Im such a loser.

I moved my computer into my room. Im in my cloest. I never come in here aymore. I have a board on the right side and it has all these things stuck on it. like magazine clippings and stuff. haha.. and the gum that me, nelson, and half the band of DOA chewed in a plastic bag. so gross, and yet, so beautiful. Gosh, everywhere I look i see justin timberlake.. I might have to do some remodeling.. maybe. might.

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I was deleting some old files.. and I found one called poem and its a poem I wrote right after i broke up with brett. but i thought I'd post it since... well, its not just about brett now. its kinda about past relationships.

i think i shall call it.. to survive a storm...

i want.

i want dreams i can't contain

i hold...

onto past and silly things

items sold for 50 cents

lovers laugh

lovely laughter dies when spent

worthless was the pain?

does it sustain or remain to obtain

the million pennies lost

as you try to repent in the thick of its cost?

i creep back to a time

time when rhymes put out vibes

joy and love and peace

when emotions were not forced to cease

when all deceased were live.

i feel the warmth caress my viens

poke my heart. rots my brains.

and suddenly im wrapped in chains

such lovely chains they are to me

you do not see what they can be

i could unlock steel ties that bound

this lifeless bod, and heart unfound

from being wound so tight

i could be free in seconds fast

and kiss the moon at night

simple actions so they seem,

and maybe its the hardest thing

whatever be the name it wins

would i praise the key it spins?

Id rather like to stay a while

the chilling grips are warm

somehow,tho vile,

i need them in a storm

so thats that. not much of a poet but i just wrote what i felt.

I went running at 6:30 and got home at 7. I read my bible. Someone told me that if you want wisdom, read james.. and then hebrews. Someone else told me that hebrews is like james but way harder to digest. So I read james like 5 times in a row. haha. yeah, I guess I was afraid of a challenge. but Im over it and I figured hebrews was the way to go. SO I started. So far so good.

I am reading Choosing God's Best Again. I forgot what chapter 2 was about. So I reread it.

I was going to put up my chinese lanterns tonite. But it didnt go too well.

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I stretched and did some yoganess. fun fun fun.

jefri likes to jump on whatever i am doing and get my attention.. he keeps jumping on the keyboard. hehe its cute. he's getting so big! i can feel his lil pot belly grow. i wish he could stay small forever. I think I will take pictures of him and post them so I'll always remember him like he is now.