Yet, I have so much to do. I came to Hastings so I could do some homework in quiet, they're doing construction.... I hate the Hub because its loud, I hate the library because it feels too much like I'm doing homework. I like Hastings. It brings back memories. Memories of fall. Traipsing through the leaves in the brisk weather, backpack on shoulder, computer whirring. I felt independent. Like I didn't need anybody. I don't need anybody. All I need is myself. And my doggy. I've been really craving a smoke lately. I see and smell them everywhere. Its great for my health that I quit, great for everyone else's too. But its so hard. I need a change in myself. I need to be someone independent. There is a line in a song "I need to be myself cause I'm sick of everybody else" But how does one "be themself?" There are so many people out there that I'm bound to be like at least one of them. I want a new job too. I don't mind teaching preschool, but I hate afternoon lessons. With a fiery passion. (this is a complain session, I love diaries) I want my creativity back. That might help me be unique. I know its somewhere. Stuffed back in the closet, closed up between the pages of an un-read book, shoved in the drawers among excess shirts. But I think I'm doing well, all things considered. I'm better now than I have been.