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by vakkergotisk
Its been a trying two weeks. Full of balancing two jobs, class, school work and a home life. The school work and home life suffered the most. My stomach has been acting up lately. And not just a bit of discomfort here and there. Its pain interspersed between the constant discomfort. And I've lost more hair than even my boyfriend is supposed to lose. Everyone around me is tying the knot. Getting engaged, getting married. It seems that I'm the only one that isn't. I mean, I envy them, but am I envious because they are getting married? Or because they get to have a wedding? Am I ready to be married, or is it just a wedding that I want? Will the answer ever be clear? Time to fail another exam....
Read 1 comments
These thoughts you're having are not good for you. Try to take a breath, you don't have to want anything at all. Nobody expects anything from you, and you shouldn't expect anything from yourself that doesn't come to you easily. I hope you are feeling a little more relaxed, you shouldn't have to worry about marriage, of all things. Maybe your envy isn't about marriage at all, it could even be that you recognize that it's easy or seemingly a natural thing for certain couples, and the fact that you're having so many thoughts about it makes you uneasy.
I'm so sorry to hear you're under so much pressure, be it internal or external. Let me know how you're doing when you get the chance.
Love!