so skyler left me a message last night on myspace: "call me at james cell phone asap its really important ok" i texted james cell and now i'm waiting for a return call. i hope he's ok. this time i have a reason to worry. he and his mum fought yesterday and the day before. i hope he didn't do anything that i'm gonna get mad at him for. i'm thinking something like cheating. we always said we would never cheat on eachother. i hope he's kept that promise. he told me he's only cheated on one girl before and that he would never do it again. once again i hope he's keeping that promise. but on to other things. (i'm still worrying by the way) i started work this week. it is actually pretty fun. i don't mind it. and i love the people i work with. they are awesome. the only bad part there is about it, is the fact that whenever i try to go to sleep after i work, i can't. i always keep thinking that i'm still at work and i can't go to sleep cause if i do all the little kids will drown. it sucks. sometimes i even sit up in the middle of the night and look around my floor for little kids. (still worrying) i wonder if that happens to all lifeguards. it happened last year too. it sucks because then i don't get any sleep and then i'm tired at work the next day and then i can't get any sleep the next night cause i'm still thinking i'm at work and on and on and on. its a vicious cycle. i'm rambling again. i need to get my mind off of what skyler is going to say. i'm still worrying. i hope its nothing horrible. i would rather it be something between his family than us. oh my god. i can't believe i just said that. i'm a such a fucking bitch. i had no right to say that. well now that i've shown you how horrible of a person i am i'm gonna go. don't think too horribly of me. i really don't think like that. it just came out of my mouth. baby if you read that i'm terribly sorry.