as usual i put myself in harm's way. boy how i love to play games. i've come to my senses. i can barely type with these nails. would you believe they're my natural nails? anyone that knew me as a child wouldn't bet on it. i'm so tired. i'm really kind, i feel like a tool. what i'd love to do is drop everything and move far away. i would love to not be anything to anyone and just start over. i would love to not be involved. detached. i'm too nice. damn. i juswt want to live for me. hahaha i owe the people around me so much.

it was so nice during that time. all i did was run and i had one other close friend. that was it. i was so involved with my own things. i want that for me. i want that again.

i don't even know what to write anymore. it's been two weeks.

i think it was around 2 or 3am. this is an awful day. this day is awful for more than one reason.