i got in. i'm single and it feels great... i mean, i just... i can breathe now. before i thought i was happy, i mean, i wasn't even there. for the longest time, i was gliding around, catatonically.... not questioning anything. remarks would be made, and at times i would disagree.. however, i never objected to anything... so passive... submissive... he still calls and questions what caused the change... he still wishes to know where i've gone... there was so much anger caged up, just waiting for the most oportune moment to run freely.... weeeee.... ha. with a pleasant tone, i asked to be left alone, yet, my request was neglected... I WILL NOT BE PUSHED AROUND, I AM NOT A BLOODY RAG DOLL THAT SWAYS AND FALLS TO THE MOVEMENT OF HIS HAND. I AM NOT A COWARD, I DO NOT FEAR HIM BECAUSE I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO EXPECT FROM HIM... nothing. i'm currently speaking with a guy, i've somewhat known him through the internet... never met the guy... i dont know what to think of him. i had his number and he had mine for an entire year, and finally he chooses to call... late at night, we speak.. the first night was amazing, i had never had such a conversation! i was completely mesmerized by him... the following nights... they proved to be quite dissapointing. he has a past, so he says, and wishes to not speak of them... what am i supposed to respond to that. i too have skeletons in my closet, yet i do not put up as many walls as he does. what am i supposed to think of that? he's... two or three... two years older than me... that's not too bad.. is it? i honestly dont know what to do, we somewhat talk... i ussually am the one to ask all the questions... unable to lose this image, sleepless unable to focus, on anything but your surrender.... sweeeet revelation... sweeeet surrendor i honestly just want to.... man! tugging to the rhythm thats in my head... unmistakable noise i was hearing, unmistakeable sound i know so well... thinking of you, thinking of you.. thinking