i want to go back to summer. i wish to look through the many houses that surrounded my sister my cousin and i. i want to wander and look at all the beautiful objects on the tables and walk through all the greedy people. i want to swing the black beads around my neck and play with my red ribbon. i want to hold my cold beverage and take a few sips every now and then. i wish to arrive home and watch my classic horror movie. i want to await my fathers arrival and show him all the precious items i bought with my own money... why cant we just go back in time? why cant all this just go away. why cant it just leave at let me stay?..-_- this is useless. memories. thats all they are, memories. yesterday i decided to experiment a bit with my family and ive discovered something... a long time ago i made a hypothesis that i had the power to control my family's mood. that all the grief was caused or influenced by me. it turns out ..im correct.. this may sound a little odd but...its true.. or maybe i am just paranoid..i think everythings my fault. insane!!!!!!ahhhhhhhh!! crazy!! well hmm i dont care if i am or not. either way, im going to keep living. i took a nap yesterday. i was very anguished so i decided that it would be best for me to go where no one can cause me trouble etc...sleep...and dream of the past the present and future :). it worked for about an hour and a half. i woke up to orange light. i didnt know exactly what was going on, but my room was lit by the sun. the suns rays were hitting the clouds and it was causing the sky to be orange and pink. it just made me realize that..no matter what happens i will always have my sky, my clouds, and birds. yes. well i better run along and continue on with my life. one cannot dwell on such nonsense for too long..it can drive a person a bit crazy -blue