the anger is starting to fade... it's left a buzzing sound... thanks. i am grateful.. however, i've noticed i've become very sensitive. i'd like to have a good cry... i cant though. as soon as my eyes water... something within me stops... "cold hard and black" i'm not sure. i wish i could sand down my harsh edges. i'm returnig to that state of mind... i'm worried. there's too much to say. capricious... still, i feel inspired to paint.. haven't been this motivated since.... that... time... right. "you're a stranger so, what do i care?... vanish today.. not the first time i hear..." right. perfect. "what am i to do with all this silence?... shy away, shy away phantom... run away.. terrified child..... wont you move away.. fucking tornado.. i'm better off without you.. tearing my will down..." how could they have been so terribly racist?