i have continued to have weird dreams... today i dreamt that i was at a hospital, in an office... and a phone rang.. i picked it up, in hopes of knowing my mom's appointment, however no one answered... there was no one on the other line... weird. i dont even know what to think about that... what's wrong with this picture? i went to the fair today and... i was reluctant to go.. i should have stayed home because.. i just... well.. at least i have 2 lovely bracelets.. i wish i could give one to that one... yeaaaa.... i'm dumb, i know. oh i also brought home a headache, great. i went on the chicago something, the zipper, and some other ride that's supposed to be like the fireball.. man, who comes up with the names? to creative... hehe.. i'm just bitter for the sake of being bitter... i dont know what im saying right now. wow i have a headache and im tired, have to get up tommorow to dye mom's hair... i really dont want to get up... i wish i could just sleep in his arms... i feel so ridiculous thinking this... writing it.. well, actually, typing it makes it more ridiculous.. such stupidity.. maybe i shoiuldnt be so hard on myself. i wish i go the mountains or the beach, and camp with him. it would be sooooo nice.. i'd love that, i really would..and i wish i didnt have to worry about that one thing either.. i wish it wasnt an issue.. i didnt have it.. .that would be great.. i would be sooooo happy. just to go camping.. i've never been camping.. i'd like to go one day... someday... i'll go.... just don't know when... i really need to work out.. i feel so dizzy... i need to get use to movement again because this is ridiculous!.... i'm still dizzy.. damn.. and this happened 2 hours ago.... by satelite...hm. if i dont say it, it's not real.. if i dont write it... it never occured... so what is an idea... if there is someone to think it.. then it must be real... if there is no one.. it is not real, nada. ni se... para que sigo con esto? i'm starting not to eat again, im concerned.... really concerned. i'd like to be able to get over this... however i dont know how. i just wasted a couple hours of my life.. this is embarassing.