Well I'm sitting here in a completely bad mood. The last week had been really good, but at the same time really bad. I’m stressed out to all ends, and I just didn’t go to school today. I just couldn’t do it. I can’t sit in class, and be bored to all ends, bitched at by teachers who have attitude problems, be utterly alone in a class full of friends, and stress about an ISU that I have to finish. So I told my grandmother wasn’t going to school today, and didn’t, she was in a bad mood. Of course, I stay home to get away from stress and the only thing I get is more stress. I need to talk to my father. I miss him. But since he works out in Niagara Falls during the week, I might only get to talk to him on the phone for about 10 minutes every 3 days. And then I hardly get to talk to him on the weekends. Its like he’s not even here and it bothers me. But then again I can’t tell him that because it will only stress him out. And my dad deals with stress a different way. I hate this, and the only thing that can make me feel better is John. I don’t know why, but he completely relaxes me. But then there was yesterday, the stupid name that he can’t seem to let go. He ends up getting angry at me, and then I get angry because he’s angry at me. It’s such a stupid little name, and I don’t see why it matters so much. But it upsets me that he can get so angry at me for one stupid thing that I did. I just wish he would get it over with and forgive me for the stupid thing. He got angry at me yesterday, and just walked away from me. But of course he realized he can’t stay angry at me, and ended up waiting for me to catch up, and then said sorry and all that junk. My day was pretty good after that. Just sitting there with him outside Zellers. To me it’s pretty perfect. I’m happy with him. Yeah, and to add to the stress, I was talking to my druggie mother the other day. I wanted to yell at her for some stuff that she’s done, but in the end, I thought. What’s the point? I wont gain anything from this. So it was the pretty same conversation. Pretend she actually cares about what’s going on. Tells me what’s going on. And hangs up, and doesn’t call for another week and a half. That’s how it always is, and that’s how its always going to be with her. Its hard enough having a mother that doesn’t want you. But having one that never wanted you, but continues to lie to you, just so she has a peace of mind in this fucked up world is shitty. I’m pretty pissed off with life, but at the same time, I’m pretty happy. Its hard to know how to feel when you’ve got so many bad things, and such amazing good things. Its just been stressful for me. I’m glad it’s Friday, and tomorrow is the weekend. I get a few days to relax. Comment if you actually got through that. I like comments. :)