This song is hitting way too close to home this morning. Just read it .. Need I say I love you Need I say I care Need I say that emotion's, Something we don't share I don't want to be sitting here Trying to deceive you Cos you know I know baby That I don't wanna go. We cannot live together We cannot live apart That's the situation I've known it from the start Every time that I look at you I can see the future Cos you know I know babe That I don't wanna go. Throwing it all away Throwing it all away Its just .. exactly what I'm going through. Something about Genesis hits me in the heart. I'm throwing it all away. That's exactly what I'm doing. I'm throwing away the best relationship I've ever had. And for what?! IDFK. So. I went to bed at 5am, only to be woken up at 7. I, being the dumbass I am, left sitdiary wide open. Josh read it, and then read someone elses blog. Well, this particular blog .. was not something I ever wanted him to see. In a way, I'm glad he read it. Coz I don't have to lie anymore. But at the same time, I feel terrible that he had to find out that way .. again. GOD IM SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE. Why am I hurting him so much? So as i'm sitting here, with tears streaming down my face, with a migraine & cramps .. all I can think is I deserve this. I deserve to be kicked out onto the street, with nowhere to live. I deserve to get my ass kicked by 4 large guys for hurting him this bad. And all I wanna do is crawl back into my mothers womb, and strangle myself with the umbilical cord .. so I never hurt anyone. Coz, that's all I do. I'm a fuckup. I have no feelings for others. I'm so god damn selfish. I wish I could take all his pain. I regret so much. And it's only gonna get worse. I dont know what to do. I'm so fucking STUPID. TooDLeS ♥