5 4 3 2 1, lets start a fire

Feeling: aloof
aloof: Adjective Distant physically or emotionally; reserved and remote that works for me. a lot has been happening. & I really cant keep up. and i'm confused. and I cant sleep & I want to cry. too late .. K. too many boys in my life. too many situations. Nigel. I like him so much, he means so much to me. But he treats me like shit. i've been in denial for so long. I talked myself into thinking he cared. He says he does, but a lot of people say things just to hear themselves talk. He's leaving oh so soon. and i'm going to miss him, and its going to tear me apart. I want just once, for him to feel like shit. But I cant do it, I dont want to see him hurt. because when he's hurt then I hurt. and I dont want either of us to hurt. UGH. I cant even explain everything thats going through my head right now about him. KYLE. I dont even know how I feel about this kid. I think it's one of those spur of the moment things when I see him. it's like. Hi, i like you. But nothing more, it's not like he's on my mind 24.7 like Nigel. MIKE. Let's not go there. & Cj. wants to be FWBz again. but I dont want to set myself up for that. But maybe I could do it. but I dont know if im strong enough. Consideration x10. I should be sleeping, but I cant. So now, im going to try. goodnight ♥
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wow.
[Anonymous]