i'm losing touch with everything .. i'm falling out with my parents. i'm falling away from Nigel [ or maybe he's falling away from me ] i havent figured it out yet I dont even want to begin with school. I really cant take it anymore. But I just dont want to give up. I dont know. ]= I mean, he means a lot to me. but the things he does makes me feel like .. i'm worthless. i mean one day, he'll be all over me. like i'm so great. and then the next day .. i'm obslete. [ spelling? ] and he has a girlfriend. I dont understand how he can say he loves her. when he's cheated & lied to her. and he's doing things that are making me question him. but the girls are liars anyways. i think everyones lieing to me. Lauren told me that Nigel was all over her. [ but it was probably just the other way around; she was all over him and she thought he was all over her ] and Brittney is telling me how he always calls her cute. and it's not fair. it makes me question him when im not around him. i'm starting to sound like i'm his girlfriend. but honestly, if anyone seen us together. they'd get that impression. it's like we're together .. but not technically together. and I cant believe he kissed me. and then like, now .. it seems different. I still cant believe he kissed me though. with a girlfriend. and other things going on. if there really is anything else going on. o_O I think i'm just thinking about this whole situation too much. I just want to go home and sleep this off. because honestly, I feel really sick. everyone is this school is utterly repulsive. and I dont want to be here. especially for 2 periods left and then I get to see Nigel. he'll probably ignore me. because he's got better things to do. I feel like a failure when it comes to him. he's so perfect and i'm such a mess. ehh. im not doing anything today. as far as work goes. and im going to sleep in global. i'll update later, if anything good happens. Not like it will o_O bye. ♥