I'm too tired for this. I feel too old for this. I'm only 18 but the weight of the world has been on my shoulders since I was 7 and I can't do it anymore. I'm just so fucking angry. edit it astounds me how easy it is for me to lie and put up a mask and pretend that nothing is different at all ever. I can feel the wall building, but I don't really care anymore, because it has to be there. I get to be the sacrificial lamb, I get to deal with all the hard stuff so that they don't have too. So that they never have too. It's always been that way. It's always going to be that way. I'm not ready, but I don't have much of a choice, I never have. Emotions aren't in, they've never been in. She shouldn't be so surprised when all I can react with is anger anymore. I haven't been able to properly express emotions in years. It's scary but all I get to feel is apathy and a trudging sense of duty.