*sigh* i'm so tired. physically as well as emotionally. i don't get people. why do people do things, then freak out when you try to talk to them about it? i hate boys. why are they so confusing? it's weird to hear things, and not know whether to believe it- especially when it's all contradictary to things other people tell you. so my philosophy is to let people say what they want, and i'm just not going to listen unless i've heard it from the source. laura dear, why are you not at school? i could really use some advice right now. but oh well, what can you do? my nails are red. my mum bought me nail polish yesterday, and then she threw it at me really hard. what the fuck? what did i do? she's the one who borrowed my money, or else i would have bought it myself. fuck. she pisses me off so god damned much. i just feel like... aaahhh!! you know? shaking her or something, or throwing something at her head to make her shut up. and it's horrible because even when she is being nice to me, she just pisses me off, and i don't know why. i'm confused. i'm... frazzled. i feel like i'm in a blender or something, and everyone's laughing because i'm being shaken around. (shaken, not stirred. haha. hmm) i know, i know. no one's laughing, but still. i just feel so... apathetic for lack of a better word. i'm sorry world, i'll try to be chipper and such- seeing as no one wants to talk to the sad girl. and don't any of you try to tell me otherwise, because i know how things are. no one wants to be around someone who's sad all the time- why do you guys think i'm always happy? it's so i'm not alone. because when you're alone, you just feel worse and like you want to cry. and then you do cry, and people think you're crazy. but maybe the people who are deemed 'crazy' are actually the sane ones, and all you happy people are really the ones who are insane. ever think of that one? no, i didn't think you did. i'm sorry if this is making anyone upset and feel bad, but it's my journal and if you don't like my thoughts, then don't fucking read it. aaaaaahhh! i just feel like screaming at the top of my lungs. oh and please don't pity me, that's just pathetic. if you say 'i feel so bad for you' i just might have to punch you. i'm sick of people pitying me. it just makes me feel worse. i don't need your fucking pity. okay? the one, the only, laura michelle* p.s. the world is a fucked up place, so don't keep your wallet in your back pocket. cheers. ha, ha... hmm.. 'it's so depressing'.. what?!? why do people toss that word around like there's no tomorrow? my mum always says that too. 'you look so depressed'. arg! stop using words when you have no idea what the real meaning is! fuck you! FUCK YOU!!!