still no word from my dad. got a note from craig saying that it's 'frustrating' that he can't get a hold of us. smoking my last cigarette. went for a walk to the park today in the cold with the puppies. there's nothing to eat at the house. not much to say. laura

let me start with... fuckers!!!! okay. so i go home last night, and there's a note in the mailbox. from who you ask? my father. well, rather sandy. want to come to church on sunday? and come to dinner? oh my freakin god, they remembered i'm alive! ahem.. so i crumpled it up and threw it out. i go to work for nine this morning, and there my day begins. boredom, followed by hunger, and then by more boredom. and then i get pissed off because karra is bragging about all her hours, meanwhile i have fifteen this week. she has thirty. what?! i mention this to anita, and she says to either talk to cindy (head cash, dept. supervisor) and if i can't find her, talk to ken (store manager). lunch time rolls around, and i can't find cindy. so i get my coat, and am about to leave the lunch room for a smoke when ken walks by. i ask him why me and karra's hours differ so much, meanwhile i completed training before she did, she's still doing on till training, and we were in the same orientation class. hmm says ken, i'll talk to cindy. okay problem solved.. yeah right. i go for my hour of lunch, and come back to my till feeling a bit better. cindy comes over and starts YELLING about how our store has a chain of command. if i couldn't find her, i was supposed to talk to mike. who the hell is mike? our assistant store manager apparently. whatever. and then she says that i don't have hours because i don't have a phone. what? so i don't have hours cause i don't have a phone, but i can't get a phone if i don't have hours. right? right. *seething with rage at this point* ten minutes later cindy comes over AGAIN, and starts YELLING AGAIN. i am not following dresscode. i need a blouse with a folded collar. what? we work in a warehouse, a w-a-r-e-h-o-u-s-e. okay, so she says i have to get a shirt with a collar. i can't, i owe hydro, and mastercard, and rogers, and i'm late with my rent. well, you have until your next paycheck then. what part of i owe too much money to go out shopping did you not get? well you know, value village has a lot of clothes. *about to blow my top and stab her with the mini screwdrivers that are sitting on my counter* thank you so much for degrading me even more, and making me hate you with more passion than i did ten minutes ago. and to top it off, karra says... i want to go home, i hate working. i don't even need this job. excuse me while i go scream outside when i'm on my break. okay, six rolls around and i'm free to go. i get this silly notion to call my dad. smooth move there. "hi ya kiddo, long time no see" "yeah, that's cause you ditched me when we were supposed to hang out, and then i couldn't get ahold of you again" ignores me. "so, you coming on sunday?" "no. i don't believe in god, and i have other plans" "i figured as much" "yeah, and thanks so much for remembering you have a daughter after four months" and then i hung up. was i wrong? i mean, is it my fault he never contacts me? is it because i live too far away for him to drop by or leave me a note? i mean, is five or six blocks too far these days? one has to wonder. and so, i am sitting here pondering this, and wondering if he will ever see me again, and if i will wake up this weekend and not be able to go back to sleep because i'm crying my heart out in the bathroom. and i wonder if he even knows or cares. that's my dad folks, is he like everyone elses? my dogs won't eat their dog food. i put out food 2 1/2 days ago, and there's still food. so i go to sobeys and see if there was a recall, not as of yet. so they said that it's weird that three young dogs wouldn't eat, and they said i could bring back the food and they'd do a refund. okay, thanks. that makes me feel somewhat better, because then i can go buy pedegree and not have to worry. whew. still have to pay our rent, but we have no money. i need wood for the window trim, but i don't want to talk to craig, because he'll ask about the rent. so i am currently in limbo, and cannot paint the living room because i need the wood. sigh. someone hand me a shot of whiskey and a cigarette. the one, the only, laura michelle*

aaaaaahhhh!!! stupid everything! had to get up at seven to be at work for eight. why? for a meeting. yeah, sure. we ate bagels and drank coffee for an hour, and then the meeting was all about how great everyone did LAST YEAR and blah blah blah. boring waste of my time. yeah. then we went to vlado's, and he asked me to man the phone while he went to help duda with something. okay, he didn't come back for three and a half hours. arg. and then chris threw my coat in the wash, and didn't take the hood off, so now all the furry crap on my hood is all stuck together and looks like garbage. also, i have to have the livingroom completely painted by tomorrow. rawr! oh, and to top it off, chris isn't getting paid, and i'm not getting enough hours. we are, um, screwed? yeah, that's a good word. also, i haven't seen my dad since christmas, they don't answer the phone, and well, yeah. goes to show i'm loved. we got darian bunkbeds. coolness. my mom's bf is an asshole, which we all knew anyways, and arg, but that's a whole long story. i'm having troubles finding us a new house that's in a decent area for a decent price. arg to that too. and i'm sooooo tired. all i've been doing is cleaning and packing, and working when i have hours, and sleeping. i have no life. but jesus, do you know how hard it is to keep a house clean when there's three dogs and hardwood floors? omg. hair everywhere not even two minutes after sweeping or vaccumming. also, i have to put new trim around the window, put a screen back into a window, fix a gigantic hole adrian punched in the fricken wall, mop, do the dishes, clean out the back and front porch, wash the walls, and pack up everything else. rrrrraaaaaawwwwwwwrrrr!!!!! my head hurts. the one, the only, laura michelle*

Chris is the one that you love. Stephen is one you like but can't work out. You care most about Nattie. Amy is the one who knows you very well. Mom is your lucky star. I'll Fly Away is the song that matches with Chris. Thank You Girl is the song for Stephen. Twist and Shout is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind. Michelle is the song telling you how you feel about life. i don't know if i believe this, but whatever. i'm going to my mom's work, and then at five thirty i'll be at her house after getting darian and picking up my sister. i'm going to call you nattie, so you'd better be home. rawr. we've decided not to renew our lease, so now i have to find us another house to move to. fun fun. not really. anyways, i'm going to check my email now. the one, the only, laura michelle*

Laura HighwayConfusion Lane3Lake Love19Bewilderment Avenue54Paintown102Fame City230Please Drive CarefullyUsername: Where are you on the highway of life? From Go-Quiz.com doing laundry. chris made a sale yesterday. $1100 woo hoo. i start my job this coming saturday. have to look for a house soon. not renewing the lease, craig's an assface. so, they start showing the house on april 1st. all i can say is, not while no one's there you're not! bugger. yeah. i'm sick. my throat hurts. waaahh. my tummy hurts too. waaahh. indeed. have nothing to write. cept that i forgot to buy toilet paper. shoot. LAST PERSON WHO * Slept in your bed: me and chris and the puppies * Saw you cry: my mum * Made you cry: my dad * You spent the night with: chris * You shared a drink with: nattie * You went to the movies with: chris * You went to the mall with: nattie * Yelled at you: chris's parents * Sent you an email: darla * You kissed: chris HAVE YOU EVER * Said "i love you" and meant it: yes * Gotten in a fight with your pet: yes, damn dogs! * Been to New York: no * Florida: no * California: no * Hawaii: no * Mexico: no * China: no * Canada: I live here * Danced naked: darn right * Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day?: yes * Wished you were the opposite sex: sometimes * Had an imaginary friend: when I was seven, his name was eric * Fought with your parents: all the time RANDOM * Things you like in a boy/ girl: humor, truthfulness, sweetness, commitment, a nice smile, nice eyes * What book are you reading now: nothing * Worst feeling in the world: anger and sadness * What is the first thing you think when you wake up: fuckin alarm clock, grr... * Future daughter's name: kathryn or elyssa * Future son's name: andrew or adam * Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: yes, his name is brer rabbit * What's under your bed: nothing, it's on the floor * Favorite sport to watch: football * Current Age: 19 and 9 months * Siblings: sister- amy, brothers- mike and chris, step siblings- christie and ryan * Location: manitoba, canada * Piercings/tattoos: two in one ear, three in the other * Boyfriend/Girlfriend: yes * Do you do drugs: no * Do you drink: sometimes * Who are your best friends: nattie and my mom * What are you most scared of: heights * What clothes do you sleep in: it varies * Where do you want to get married: no clue * Who do you really hate: chris's cousin corie * Been in love: yes * Do you have a job: home depot, haven't started yet though * Do you like being around people: sometimes * Are you for world peace: yes, but world peace is unattainable * Are you a health freak: no FAVORITE * Room in house: my bedroom * Type(s) of music: oldies (beatles) and some punk rock stuff, oh, and country * Color: pink, green, and black * Perfume or cologne: clinique happy * Food(s): onion bacon and cheese sandwiches * Month: july * Day: new years * Gemstone: emerald IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU * Cried: yes * Bought something: dogfood and cigarettes * Gotten sick: I've been sick for a few day * Sang: yesterday * Met someone new: no * Talked to someone: yes * Missed someone: yeah, but my dad has too busy of a life now apparently * Hugged someone: yes * Kissed someone: yes the one, the only, laura michelle*

i have an interview at home depot tomorrow. vlado finally gave me my money. damir is either quitting, or got fired. dunno, haven't been there since saturday. hahaha is all i have to say. he almost cut his finger off cause he was fucked up on something at work. also, he cut a whole thing of salami and put it in with the pepperoni. riiiight... yeah. blargy blarg. watched heroes yesterday. anyone else watch that show? i love it. awesomeness. i am a loser. meh. the car was all fucked up, now it's getting fixed, and will be ready tommorow. chris has a new job. $2500 a month. yay! adrian says he's either paying us back with his income tax money, or he's taking out a loan. yeppers peppers. the puppies don't have worms anymore. yay! but we gave them this medice last last saturday to get rid of them (the worms, not the puppies!) and guess what happened? one of them pooed in chris's shoe. i laughed so hard, cause i hated those shoes anyways. yes. also, our neighbour's got a dog. she's the same age as nicki and her name is sarah. she's so cute. frankie jumped out of the yard the other day (i swear that dog was a horse in another life) and sarah started sniffing her and franko just laid down like a wuss. i laughed, tori laughed. oh, tori is our neighbour's daughter, she's fourteen and the cutest little person ever. very 80's. yeah. i've been scraping wallpaper off the wall for like, three weeks, and i'm still not done. and then what happened? the puppies ate the plastic handle of the scraper, so now my hand hurts when i use it. oh the trials and tribulations of puppy ownership. it was frankie's first birthday on the 23rd. i gave her a doughnut. she was very happy. also, we sang her happy birthday. whatever. some people have kids, i have my pack of puppies. they really are a pack now, i mean, three of them is a lot eh? but hell, i love the little beasties, they're my babies. anywho, i was attacking chris's mom's cat, monte, and she was biting me. she has no front claws though, so i owned that fight. jk. she's a little bastard but i love her. just wish she loved me like she used to. i mean, meow meow in my face when she was hungry, and being all cuddly all the time. now it's hissss and meeeeooooow, grr. bugger. oh well. anywho, nothing much else to say. just goes to show that i have no life. ha, whatever. i'm quite content. the one, the only, laura michelle*

rawr. i am bored. there is nothing for me to do, cause i owe money and can't take out any books. oh well. i'm going to my mom's work, and then going to see darian. and then, after we drop her off, i am going to see if this job i applied at has called. ugh, my landlord stopped by early this morning and wants his tools and stuff back. excuse me? i've only had three weeks to fix the house, and he didn't give me enough filler for the walls, so it's far from being done. waht a retard. so now i have to call him later and tell him he's an idiot, cause he brought me caulking, but no caulking gun, so it was impossible to use it. grrr! angry. i hate my hair. i want to cut it. but then i want to grow it out, but i hate it right now. aaaahhh! i can't do anything with it, so it looks so bad. oh well. anyways, i have a bus to catch. ta ta for now. the one, the only, laura michelle*

yep. at work. it's one am. we're doing nothing. playing pool, eating, surfing the net, whatever. yeah. anyways, i'm tired. want to go home. indeed. almost beat chris at pool earlier. almost. sigh. almost done fixing the house, well, the walls at least. but we're looking for a new place, cause our house has mold. yuck. yeah. there's a nice house going for 39 900. going to talk to the bank. we'll see. going to seed next week. business administration courses. fun fun. yeppers peppers. not much else to say, except nat! don't go to your dad's this weekend, cause i'm not working sunday, and we should hang out, cause i'm a loser and have no friends. jk. well, no, but, yeah. ha. anyways, i'm calling you on sunday, and if you're not home, you smell like moldy feet. that's right, i said it, moldy feet. anyways, nothing much else to say. hang in there. the one, the only, laura michelle*

i have a headache. and i missed my bus. damn bus. anyways, the car is screwed up.. again. the timing belt went and the temperature started rising and it almost exploded. yes. i got a new purse. it's pink, and from japan, and has hello kitty on it. go stuff. indeed. don't you hate it when you say something to someone, and they completely ignore you? (doesn't the word completely look like it's spelled wrong?) yeah. i shall elaborate next time i actually speak to you in person nattie. i'm wearing a hat cause i dodn't brush my hair this morning. go me. hoorah. i owe the library money, for late books, so now i can't take any out. they are a bunch of BASTARDS!!! ha. take that bastard librarians. oooh, i'm so rebellious. just kidding. yeah. so, how've ya been nattie boo? haven't talked to you since new years! that's a long time. indeed. we burned pizzas at vlado's the other day, and damir was REALLY mad, and he was yelling at jim and chris, cause vlado left us all there by ourselves. oh well, it was only one pizza, hell, i've burned four at once one time. we just ate them, vlado doesn't really get mad about that. but yeah. he yelled really loud and was like "get the fuck out of my kitchen!!" it was too funny for me to even explain, cause, well, it was just funny as hell. anyways, gots to go. love ya! the one, the only, laura michelle*

oliver has worms. he puked some up yesterday. icky. so now we have to get medicine for all three of them, cause the vet said he probably gave it to nicki and franko. nicki has a lump on her chest. it's pretty big. but it's squishy, and the vet said it's probably just a fat lump, cause she's getting kinda fat, and cancer lumps are hard as rocks. ugh. why is it that when something goes wrong, something else does too? i'm doing laundry. for like, the first time in a month. arg. my landlord came by and brought some stuff for the walls. he's such a loser. we went tobogganing on sunday night. me, chris, ryan, ross, and ross's gf. don't even get me started on how he's going to break up with her cause he thinks he's too good. anyways, we went tobogganing after drinking a bit, and then drank more at the hill. it was fun i guess. yeah. i have no life. i need a job, but no where has called. so i think maybe i should just give up and go work at mc dicks or something. the mohawk by my house is hiring, so i'll apply there i suppose. anyways, i'd say call me nat, but how can you? maybe you should just send a letter, it might reach me faster. hardy har har. jk. the one, the only, laura michelle*

these are my debts: Mastercard- 1,242.66 Phone- 511.28 Hydro- 300.00 Water- 35.08 Rent- 550.00 Car Insurance- 92.00 I am in deep shit, and I'm sinking. Chris got fired on monday. hoorah. i haven't been getting any calls from anywhere i have applied to. hoorah. rogers wireless is cancelling my account on feb. 10th, and sending it to a collection agency, and i will have bad credit for seven years and still have to pay them back. hoorah. mastercard is cancelling my card and sending it to a collection agency, and i will have bad credit for seven years and still have to pay them back. hoorah. hydro is going to shut off my service if i do not pay them on february 2nd. hoorah. my landlord is going to kick me out if i do not pay him before the end of the month. hoorah. my car is a piece of shit and is getting fixed for yet another hundred dollars. hoorah. kill me now please. i am filing for bankruptcy. at least then the bills will go away, even though i'll have bad credit for seven years, but that will happen in the next two months anyways. so lets get rid of some bills, right? someone have a gun? anyone? anyone at all? the one, the only, laura michelle*

and so, nothing to write about. nattie, my phone is still disconnected, probably until saturday, but i'll pop bye tomorrow sometime. you're free after 5, right? yeah. so, we bought a subwoofer for my car, and swapped the sound system. cool. meh. (picture me talking in a monotone voice, ala morrison drama class, that's my mood) everything was fine, i was watching ugly betty, talking to chris's mum about danielle steel books (i'm reading the long road home, ha!) and yeah, good stuff. then, who shows up? and it's only thursday, not even a card night. so anyways, conversation abandoned, have to move so corie can sit, and i can't even watch the rest of the show. anyways... "how's the job search?" blah. chris says something about me trying to get a better position, like assistant manager somewhere. auntie debbie says "you'll never get it, they won't hire you because your not qualified in the slightest" what? i know all the crap they have to do, i've done accounting for christ sake. no one stands up for me, no one says they'd hire me to train me, cause no one's born an assistant manager. chris goes outside, so no help there, i'm left alone standing there like an idiot, unwanted in this stupid family. even gary said i'd be good at it, when i applied at a bunch of places, but he just sits there, not saying anything. i feel like utter shit, and now i'm crying because a few people don't want me here. tough shell my ass. i just want to go home, spend my night with my book and my dogs and say too hell with them all. stupid everything. people are so mean. the one, the only, laura michelle*

so, i went to pick up the autopac check on friday.. yeah. the bastard that was supposed to pull it and have it couriered threw out the paper it was written on, rewrote it and put the new one back into my file, and sent the check through the mail. i seriously want to stab him. so, the phones are still disconnected. adrian told us a few days ago that he gets paid today, okay good, he can give us his rent money and the money for the phone bill. then i asked him today, after he bought groceries, pot, and rented a movie, and he tells me no, he didn't get paid. what? how'd you get over a hundred bucks then? he's lying. i know cause his friend was like, no, he got paid last week, blah blah blah. liars! so, now cause of all this bullshit, we have no food for ourselves, no gas, and no smokes. also, chris's cousin and aunt are here. fun times, not. corie is such a cunt. yeah. bye. the one, the only, laura michelle*

so... my phone got disconnected, and i have to talk to mpi. those bastards are trying to keep the money for the car. every time i call the adjuster it's "oh, call me tomorrow" and then the same thing the next day. it's getting on my nerves. okay, so i went to this job interview at the trisec building, and i got it. so then i go the next day for work, and it's totally not what the boss lady said it was. i was going to be the copy room technician.. and the freakin janitor. and then, to top it off, i went out for a smoke, and these girls were like "oh, what school did you go to?" miles mac.. "oh, you, uh, didn't go to university?" no "when did you graduate?" i didn't.. so then they all give me nasty looks and scurry away like i'm contaminating the air. and then... the boss lady says to me, "you can't wear that" meaning my black zip up sweater. "and i noticed that there's a bleach spot on your pants, you can't wear those either" well!! the nicest clothes i have, and i'm being told that they're utter shit. so anyways, a few more hours of people asking me where i went to school, telling me that their garbages needed emptying, and i was out of there. hit the road jack, and don't ya come back no more. so yeah. fun times. corporate world not for cavewoman... yeah. rawr. so, there's these people digging a moat around my house. seriously! k, no, they're digging down to fix the foundation, but it really looks like were making a moat. and they ripped down my fence! so my dogs have to be watched while they're outside. oh, last night, we drove to the payphone, and when we got back, nicki comes running over to the car. how'd she get out? stupid fat adrian left his window open again! retard. i swear. that guy is driving me nuts. and then last night, he stays up until two, and i tell him to let the dogs out before he goes to bed because he gave them some water. i wake up a few minutes after he went to his room, cause frankie is barking. he locked them in the kitchen, and didn't take them out, and frankie was trying not to pee on the floor. i hate him. he owes us like, six hundred dollars, and he's arguing about it with me. i swear, i'm just going to snap. but yeah. i should find a pay phone and call that mpi idiot, and maybe i'll be able to go down and get my check. hopeful, as always. the one, the only, laura michelle*

our landlord is an idiot. there's mold on our walls... and we point this fact out to him a few days ago. what does he say? nothing, paint over it... where's the screen from this window? ugh. he's a twit. so anyways. i'm looking for a new job. sears is crap. the people are crap. the customers are crap. retail sucks. i went through all the boxes last night and today, so it looks way better. we have a mouse. i've decided to name him herbert. he lives in our back porch. he's brown. yeah. we find out tomorrow if chris's car is going to be written off. you know, life is shit. all i've been doing is sleeping, cause i can't drive anywhere, we don't have any money for the bus, and i'm too tired from working. it really sucks. so yeah. a whole lot of nothingness. our bed broke. the wood piece that is part of the foot board came out of one of the sides. so now we have a mattress on the floor, with a bed frame around it. ghetto to the max. well, i can't say i've been sleeping the whole time, cause i took the pups to kildonan park, and i go for walks with them everyday. but yeah. there was this puppy at the park, and he's just over a year, and the same color as frankie. he's purebred too. i was thinking maybe we should let her have puppies, but i don't want her to die sooner. my dad's friend breeds goldens and his dogs are way older than they should be, like they're three, but act like ten, and they're tired all the time. chris's auntie said that breeding them cuts their life span in half almost. that's sad, but what if frankie should be a mum? who am i to want to keep her around just for myself if she wants to have babies? i don't know. tough decision, cause i love that little beast. yeah. we had dinner at chris's auntie debbie's last night. weirdness. anywho, gotta go. the one, the only, laura michelle* p.s. rawr.

no, i'm not really feeling too whimsical, but whatever. anyways, so my car got it's windshield smashed, and we went to autopac today, and they're going to fix it, but it's on plessis, and they're making sure it was vandalism. meh. yeah. so a couple days ago some lady hit us in chris's car, i don't know if i wrote about it. but yeah. it's going to autopac next monday. things are going okay. chris works for nine an hour, but from like, 6 am to 430 pm. mrah. stupid sears. i have to work on thursday, but only 1 till 5. anyways, so on saturday adrian had some friends over and this stupid kid, 16 only, smashed our front door window and was punching cars and shit. so i called the cops, and adrian went and picked him up. then he demanded that he be let inside and said he had to sleep at our house. i was like, no fucking way and i was screaming at him and freaking out, and then i called the cops again cause he wouldn't stop yelling at me, and let him in anyways when i went into the back porch. the damn drunken kid jumps out adrian's window, and i'm outside waiting for the cops, and he comes shambling back to our house, and the cops grabbed him and threw him on the ground. whatever. i hate having a room mate. it sucks. he punched a whole bunch of holes in the walls, which i had to cover with pictures. and then today we were going to chris's parents house, to do laundry, and we were going to go but then chris had to get adrian, and we were going to take the dogs with us, but then adrian started freaking out. "you guys are so fucking stupid, blah, blah, blah" fuck you!! all cause he didn't want to sit in the back. "the cops will be like, there's no seat belts in the back, and there's two dogs." so? what do the dogs need seat belts for? there'd only be a ticket for adrian not having a seat belt. and then he says that we'd be the ones paying the ticket cause it's our car. what? he has his license, so he'd be issued the ticket. i'm not paying a ticket all cause he wanted to come here instead of going to his own parents house to do his laundry. wait.. his mum kicked him out so she could marry some rich guy! what a jack ass. i hate him. rawr. anyways.. the dogs were outside yesterday in the rain, and they dug a pit, which filled with water. needless to say, when they came inside the house, i didn't own golden retrievers anymore- they were black labs. and i mean black! i had to wash nicki for ten minutes, and the water was still running off her kinda brown and icky. and poor frankie had dirt up her nose and such. my little fluffy bastard babies. then they ripped apart my pillow yesterday.. and ate chris's hat today, and a tupperware lid. oh, and chris got me a bunny for easter, and he found it outside in the mud pit, buried. so now i have to wash it. craig, our landlord, was supposed to come by yesterday at 4 pm to look at the crack in the house's foundation, but we waited until 8 pm, and he never showed. we also called a bunch of times. what a fucker. i hate waiting for people like that. it makes me mad, cause i had things to do, rather than wait around for my slum landlord. he's an asshole. anyways, i think the dryer's almost done, so maybe we can go home soon, and i can lounge on the couch.. or actually go to sleep cause i'm dead tired. the one, the only, laura michelle*

so, i work at sears again. but not the same one. it's easy. boring. blah. so, on saturday i worked at vlado's, and he had like, 50 people in from regina. crazy drunken croatians. vlado bought over a grand in booze, and it was all gone. holy moly. but, he makes like, three or four times the amount of each thing, so that's a lotta money. good for him. it was sucky how he was worried he was going to go out of business. so, he told me to go to seed, and go to this class on business management and such. he thinks i should do my idea. i'm not sure though, apparently i'd make 3x less than he does in the first year. and then 5x less in 15 years. rawr. but still, what have i got to lose except the banks money hey? yeah. so my crappy new car was stuck at adrian's work for like, a week, and last night my dad called caa and got it towed, for free. yay. but yeah. chris's boss fired him today for being late so many times. twice is a lot? yeah, and the other guys snort coke at work, but did they get fired? no... brilliant decision there dan. what a dick face. anyways, so chris has an interview at this place that pays better. so dan and all those retards can fuck themselves. yep. but anyways, i have all this stuff on how to write up a business plan, and how to go about getting financing, and it seems like a good idea. funny, cause this thing said that once you start a business like that, you're married to it and there's no vacation. true. just look at vlado, he hasn't taken a day off in almost six years. but yeah. i think it would be fun, and worth it in the end. because i'd be making way more once the place got known, and the company name had more rep, and the place was by a high traffic area and not in a mall or near any other places that do the same thing. so, perhaps i will go to seed and do the program. after all, it's free. what can it hurt? the one, the only, laura michelle* p.s. nat! sorry i didn't call you back, i ended up going to bed cause adrian invited people over and they wouldn't go home, and i wanted to watch a movie but they were plaing video games. so needless to say, i was pissed off with a headache. call me after you get off work, because i don't work until saturday!

I have decided something. There are moments in life when everything seems so clear. When it all just looks so blatently obvious, you wonder how you could have ever missed it. I'm a growup. That may sound very childlike, but, there we have it. And so, taking that into account, I have decided to take into perspective the events and decicisions in my life that have brought me to where I am today. First, there have been times I have been the one to screw everything up. Other times it was someone else. As of right now, I am taking it on my shoulders, and am apologizing. This is not a request for forgiveness, don't get me wrong. I would just like to apologize to those that have been hurt by me. And perhaps I am asking that the wrongs be, well, not forgotten, but viewed as what they were- childish. We are adults. Some of us with new things, better things, very different things, coming into our lives. I say to that, good. For our lives are changing everyday, and though we may look back on who we were and what happened and feel resentment and anger, I hope there are times when we look back and see how much fun and happiness there was too. I was looking through photographs the other day, and couldn't help but laugh. The things we used to do and the way we used to play makes me smile. I realize now that we are so different from the people we used to be. Changes are often so big, we don't even realize what has changed in such short of time. I have set aside my issues with the past, and am now looking for a new life. I hope that perhaps we all may speak to eachother in sort of the way we used to, but that may not be the case. I often feel so much older, and like I have lived so many years in many different lives. But now I see that it is what we call 'growing up'. You can change so many times, in so many ways, that you can't grasp the way you used to see the world. I miss that actually. When everything seemed new and exciting, when now the things that used to seem fun just bore you to death. In part, this letter is a farewell to youth, to the person I was before. Also, this letter is a greeting to the adult, the future me I will become- am already, and becoming all at the same time. It is sad really, to know that some places you have gone can never be revisited. It's like the Beatles song, 'In my Life'. But that is the way life is, when things change and things are no longer what you remember them being. And so, with this, I am saying I love you, to the sixteen year old me, to the friends I have had, to the people I have known. In all your special little ways that make you 'you', you will always be my friends, my confidantes, my sisters, my brothers, and of course, the people who helped me become me. I hope you know that you will never be forgotten, throw into a box of photos never to be seen, or not thought of as the friends you really were to me. For you will always be in my heart, reminisced about often, even if it's just me to remember you, and of course, spoken of not as 'people I once knew', but as my friend, as though we still chat on the phone for three hours a day. To all of you, I say good luck in the future, and take care in all you do. Your once and again friend, Laura Michelle*

so. it's chris's dad's birthday today. we're here doing laundry too. well, the white mazda is gone. boo hoo. but, we know these people that own domino's and they have two they want to get rid of, and the girl wants the shadow. don't ask me why. so, they are coming over on sunday to work out a deal. probably going to be the shadow as a trade for the '95, and we'll owe them 1300 for the '91, because that's what they first suggested. the '95 is black and the other one is silver. the black one is a precidia edition, same but a little different than just a regular mx 3. or is it the silver one? meh. one of them is, one isn't. but they're both automatic. yay! oh! i drove chris's dad's car from our house back to his parents. i stalled it at a stop sign. and these guys drove up beside me and hollered 'learn how to drive, cunt!' so i ended up starting it a second later, flew by them and gave them the finger while honking. i felt vindicated. that was only my second time driving standard, and only stalled it once. good good. so, i was going through some boxes, and i started a collage on my bedroom wall. i also put up some pictures in the living room, and now it looks more like an actual house. i changed around our bedroom too, and now the window is behind us instead of beside. better for a breezy night, more air flow. yeah. oh, a truck at chris's work jumped out of the bay and ran over his supervisor yesterday. wait, that sounds weird. okay, so in order to start a standard vehicle, you have to push in the clutch right? and then if you release it too fast, the car stalls right? well, this truck didn't stall, it went into 1st and flew out of the bay. the guy who owns the truck is at fault though, cause all standard vehicles after some time in the 80's have to have that safety feature, and the truck was a '96, and he disabled it. so anyways, the supervisor, also named chris, is in front of it doing 'start checks' and shit, and the thing comes right at him, so he tries to jump to the side, but his leg goes under, and his hip pops out of place and his ankle gets mushed. then the damn truck smokes the side/rear end of the big boss guy's truck, and then bounces off and comes to a stop by rolling into our back bumper. there's just a scratch from the liscence plate, but the big boss (dan) got his truck annhilated, and poor chris is now in the hospital. as soon as he got there they gave him valium, and that's all we know right now. fucked hey? yeah. so i read this book, it's called 'plays well with others'. i read the back, and it's about a bunch of friends in new york city who are all trying to get famous by painting or writing or composing. turns out the damn book is just like rent, all about the group of friends getting aids and dying. but, unlike rent, everyone dies except the narrator. in rent only four of the friends die. so sad. and the narrator, hartley, is gay and wants to be with his best friend, robbie, and so does their straight friend, angie. but robbie is bisexual. so, hartley and angie promise never to go behind each other's backs and sleep with him. then hartley sees this weird spot on robbie's arm, but doesn't want to say anything cause the poor guy just got his symphony played at some theatre. but then robbie is supposed to be out of town and hartley goes to his place to raid the fridge... but lo and behold, there's angie and robbie doing the nasty on the floor. poor hartley. anyways, robbie gets kind of sick, so hart and angie go to the vd clinic. this is in the 80's before aids was really known, so they think they might just have some other curable disease (they met at the vd clinic, irony eh?). ok, so dear hart is fine, and angie says so too. they go to bury robbie a few months later in connecticut, and dear little angie confesses that she lied, and is now dying from 'it'. so, everyone of his friends (about 6-10) die from aids, and he's the only survivor. so sad. mm hmm. bah. ya know? anyways, i should probably go see what the others are doing upstairs, and if chris's evil cousin has gotten here yet. just kidding, she's not that bad anymore, we actually kind of talk now. so yeah. civilized i suppose. ta ta everyone. the one, the only, laura michelle*

Your Love Number is 3 You're confident and charming, which makes you able to keep your relationships fresh. A true perfectionist, you give your all (and then some!) to your sweetie. Honest, funny, and kind... you are the ideal lover for many. Just don't let your jealousy get the best of you!What Is Your Love Number? i guess that's kind of me. who's to say for sure? meh. chris is mad (not really) cause i jacked the computer first. tee hee. well, there's something on tv i kind of want to watch. toodles. the one, the only, laura michelle*