Wellz I made it thru the nite. I was so drunk. I called scotts number like 5 times in a row.....I feel so bad...I should leave him alone. This is something I need to face alone. Well realli I have no choice...lol....I have to face everything alone from now on. No friends. Nothing. I don't think I should keep leaning on Scott. He's not alwyz gonna be there. He wanted some distance. Hun There's like a thousand miles distance for him. I don't mind. I'm not pissed. Him and I can stay friends. I'm not made to have long lastin relationships. Some people are just destined to be alone for life. That would be me. I dunno what it is but like Guys just don't wanna stay around long. Neither do my friends. I don't care tho. If I can make it on my own then maybe i have a chance at life. I doubt it tho. I can't make it by myself. Hell I got wasted and cut my wrists so bad I can't even bend them. It's hard to type. On my right wrist I seriously think I hit something cuz it's still bleeding from 2am. I tied socks around my wrists so the bleeding would stop. The sock on my left wrist just had a little blood but the one I had on my right....was once a white sock it was Dried blood red....I dunno how I'm gonna hide these. At this point I don't care. So truly hit rock bottom. I'm amazed I didn't kill myself. I should have just went ahead and did it. Not like anyone would realli care. I'm just some girl. A no one. No Future. No friends. No family who actually claims me newyz. That "Seasons in the Sun" song keeps playin over and over in my head....I realli feel like i'm dying on the inside. There's nothing to live for. Amazing. Tuesday I had everything, And today i have nothing. I feel like I have no control over anything. Obviously I don't. Just sittin in the middle of the ocean in a tiny little boat seeing where the current takes me............. Life fucking sux.........I don't wanna deal with any of this anymore. My wrists hurt to much....I'm done typing...