Okay so I'm supposed to do a huge update of updating right now and explain how my week went. I'm going to do an abridged version because I'm still suffering from con crud and I feel like every detail isn't relevant.

Saturday:

We all woke up extra early and showered/got ready. And we were on the road. Unfortunately it took us a bit of time to actually get there since I remembered I left something at home (which I could not find) and there were two traffic delays on route...so a trip that was supposed to take 4 hours took a bit over 6.

We got to the hotel at night and immediately were greated by Michael and Linus - I was very excited to see Michael because it's been a while (6 months) since I'd seen him and Linus...well, as by other entries our relationship has been rocky and this event is his proving ground to me to prove he's actually changed and was genuine.

Anyway we immediately bumped into someone we didn't want to see (Scotty's ex) and there was a bit of drama with him because we didn't want him around.

We went into Michael/Linus's room to just chill, drink, and mellow out.

We went with a bunch of friends to Chipotle to eat and then I took Linus to Dairy Queen for his first milkshake in America.

During the night Linus invited a girl into the room (a girl who has caused problems with him before) and he was all over her and they were drinking together so it obviously pissed myself and Michael (to a lesser extent) off as well because it was showing that Linus wasn't really serious/genuine about his convictions.

Sunday:

The first official day of the event. We all went out to a chinese restaurant and it was interesting because we argued with Linus about tipping (he thought it was stupid since his country doesn't do that) and the whole table basically shut him down. After we ate we went to starbucks and Linus basically told me he wasn't going to deal with the girl anymore because she's toxic and he feels like he can't be himself around her and he knows it's not what he wants/needs (because he's GAY though he didn't say that) and then he basically consented he was acting like an asshole.

So I let that go. Afterwards we hung out and did randon stuff.

Nothing else of note I can remember.

Monday:

This day was interesting because we all chilled and basically got drunk again and watched the event live in our room. We had a huge party which unfortunately security came to tell us to quiet down -_-

I spent a majority of the time getting close to a new friend, Christopher, so that was nice. And also trying to hook him up with my best friend. That was interesting.

We had to deal with some BS from Scott's ex - he was listening at our DOOR and harassing one of our friends who was rooming with him all because we didn't want to talk to him. Like jesus christ. If he does anything else we're going to report him to the event staff.

At the end of the night we watched my friend Eric's part in the con so that was pretty amazing.

Unfortunately, some more drama bs went down. Linus got drunk and was acting like an asshole. He made out with that girl who "he wanted nothing to do with" and then came in the room and bragged about it. Oh, and he also saw fit to force a kiss on me and my boyfriend. Da fuck.

Tuesday:

I woke up feeling like crap so everyone else went to breakfast without me. I stayed in the hotel and ate lunch - a cobb salad. So good.

I took the girl Linus was into to the side and explained to her what Linus did plus all of the bs he had told me over the last couple of months in an effort to spare her of the trouble. She seemed to take what I said to heart except later on she got drunk and told me that she forgave him completely...lovely

I took it easy this day but I still drank a bit.

Later I watched my other friend, Andrew's part in the con which was also pretty amazing.

Wednesday:

Was pretty quiet though I know that Linus was going to try and talk to me eventually about what I said to the girl, but I had to. He eventually pulled me to the side and I flat out told him I was done with him and I think it would be best if we part ways. And I left. I can't deal with him anymore.

The drama with Scott's ex got to an all time high when he tweeted out our room number and said awful things so I had to complain to the staff and they told us they'd deal with him + Scott went off on him so he backed off.

My other friend, Ashley arrived at the event so that helped to destress me.

We all went to Mcdonalds at 4 AM and it was pretty awesome :D

Thursday:

So I was still feeling like crap but we woke up late and all decided to go to Buffalo Wild Wings. Unfortunately for me, Linus was there and I couldn't do anything about that.

Later my friends and I were drinking and then Linus came into the room piss drunk. He asked to talk. I declined. Later on I was mixing drinks and needed to wash my hands - he jumped into the bathroom and pulled the door shut, locked it, and was crying on me - begging me to take him back and let him into my life. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do but I told him no - I couldn't. And he got physical, sort of, and grabbed at me and forced another kiss and it was very emotional but I pushed him away and left the bathroom. He was crying pretty bad so Michael took him away.

It was one of the most intense moments of my life and I still don't know where I found the strength to do what I did. But as I said: "Sometimes if you love someone you hold on forever, and sometimes if you love yourself you need to let them go to save yourself from drowning." And unfortunately that's what I had to do.

I'll always care about him but for now he needs to be let go.

Friday:

Pretty chill day.

I spent most of this time chilling with friends, drinking, and trying to relax.

Saturday:

Last official day of the con so I spent it chilling (not drinking, surprisingly) and just enjoying time with friends. I tracked down the last couple of people I wanted to see and got them to sign my shirt. It was really awesome. We went out for chinese food and then a late wendys run. Pretty awesome.

Sunday:

Last day - I woke up and felt like death. I said goodbye to everyone and then made my way home. I'm sad but I know it won't be too long before I see everyone again. <3

Poem (12) Bleed