At birth given scars along tender heart liberties. In justice for awkward living situated casulities. They lay dead along the floor, careful not to wake them they're sleeping. In the morrows good mourning, the dying will discard the wish to live... --- So, Saturday has arrived. Excited? No, not really for it is just another day in which the only thing I will see is a computer screen for the good half of the day. Nick is going to his teacher's house for a pool party, John is to be going to a lake with someone from his baseball team, Tom is working, my mother is to be up at the college to get her book. And what is Jess doing? Absolutely nothing, I could call a friend but then the only friend's number I have is Arlene, and she being the only person I would want to spend time with. I could take a walk? Or go swimming in my own pool? But such things are never any joy when done alone. So, again, my day will be spent inside the safety of my room and the comfort of a computer screen while AFI and other good band CDs will be played. We went mini-golfing last night since John has random suggestions of what to do at odd points during the day. Thomas, the ever so great old man golfer, ended up losing to John. I was doing pretty good the whole time before I just gave the attitude that I did not care and started being all little child like and just hitting the very cool pink ball all over the place. It went in the water five times. I am the greatest! Then we went out to ice cream and I was so grossed out by how Nick was eating. He had ice cream under his damn eye and then we discover that he has not taken a shower since Thursday night, the day before school was let out. Holy mother, I freak out if I do not get a shower each day, well not freak out, just feel so damn dirty. We went to Six Flags and got that nasty Thunder River water on him, he has been in the pool almost every day since we got out a week ago and.. eww. Anyone want to have a little brother that has a major lack of hygeine? And the better half of the newer things in the life of me? I am to be getting my hair dyed pink. Oh yeah, my mother actually said yes. So I have to go to the hair place and let them get a strand of my hair so she can do a strand test on how to bleach all the color out and then comes the brilliant color. If I did not already get enough stares, having pink hair will sure as fuck do it. I also told my mom that the next style shall be a pink and black mohawk. ^.^ Oh! And that card I talked about last entry, we are not going to send it and I am going to go buy a lighter for one buck at the gas station and burn it, in addition to torching many other things. To name a few: old CDs that I no longer have use for, and the fun I will have with the Good Charlotte 50 cent CD at our neighbor's yard sale yesterday. Worthless gifts that my dad has ever given me, old pictures and notes that I have gotten this year, oh and the more important thing to be burned? The notebook that Dana and I used by writing notes in it and then passing it back to the other at the end of the day. One page, by one page I will destroy what she has said. Then, my mother said since she has to burn some old branches that I can throw onto the pile anything else that will not explode so there will fall my candles since that phase is over, all the colored clothing, apart from red, that I own, all my stupid teen magazines that I ever subscribed to and kept. No, I am not a pyro I simply want to be rid of the constant looking to those objects and be reminded of what I used to be. Also, by next school year I will be buying my own damn paint and the walls of my room, the ceiling everything will be black. There is no escaping who you are inside, and I am no longer running. I found sole comfort in watching the sun set, the moon rise and be engulfed in the beauty of the night. I lay on the roof which due to the location of my room on the back of the house was just right there outside my window and from 1:30 until 4:00 I returned to the roof while I lay on my back, staring up at the sky while Davey's voice sang out and blood spilled out from the cuts on the arms and ankles. I wonder what it would be like to call myself nocturnal for the rest of the summer. Would it be everything that the vampire authors describe it as? "I creep through the twilight to that hidden place beyond the lonely... I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue." ^ Maybe, again the AFI fans would be able to know the songs from which they come from, since many did it so perfectly of the last line I left. And this is my goodbye to you all until the next time.. Make me invisible and I'll end the world today. Your weakness kills everyone so live. -_- Seal the lips of your voice with haste and cower at the sounds as they make their way. Surprise speed and malice, the opposing break the surface hold ready. Will the killing veil love should the heroes play dumb. But killings now fun when the heroes are none. Bye, bye world...