Welcome the whole new pain and take comfort in all you've become. I waved as I passed myself along the way. I have arrived so unashamed... --- School Days until May 28: Ten Days. Only two more weeks tomorrow. How frickin awesome. Even if, I will only become a junior once that day arrives. I would like to quote, or misquote which is probably what will end up happening since I only wrote it down after hearing it and may have replayed some of the words wrong as I did so. But yesh, this was on the re-run episodes of The West Wing that comes on Bravo every night at 11, it has made me become a fan to the show since I do get find sleep until the good hour of 2, with help from Attila's influence as well. ~.^ Anyway.. "A guy is walking down the street and suddenly falls down a hole with thick walls. A doctor walks by and the man yells for help and the doctor throws down a presciption. Next, a priest walks by and again he asks for help and a prayer is thrown down to the man. Lastly, a friend comes by and again, the man asks for help and the friend jumps down, "What are you, stupid?" The man asks, and the friend replies, "No. I've been down here before and I know the way out." I never realized how much I was at a lack of friends in my personal life, the ones whom will be in front of my face every day, the ones that you are supposed to do things with outside of school. I can maybe name one person who that relates to, Arlene, we ne'er really do anything once school is done for the day though. I do not mean to complain but I started crying after hearing these words. I cried over words said on a television show. I think of those I call "friends" and the ones I listed have been known to me through a thing called internet. I listen to people on this site talk of their weekends with people, when all I end up doing is something with my younger brothers or mother. I watch in classes as people pass their binders with pictures of them and many others around to those that question. The only thing on my binders are pictures of AFI, Depp, HIM, lyrics written by either Davey or me. Oh, and the one has Nightmare Before Christmas and Edward Scissorhands pictures with Tim Burton focused in the center. Yeah, I have no pictures to post of me with people on them, in fact, there are no pictures of me that I would be willing to show. I am.. ugly and no ones words could convince me otherwise. And once I have enough time to upload the digital camera program onto the office computer I will show you all what I already know. Then no one can deny what I look like. -_- Hah, I got called a Sadistic[sp?] Nazi Lover in Leonard's class today because we were watching a video about the Holocaust and they showed this actual clip from when the British went in one of the camps and showed all the dead bodies and how skinny they were. Honestly, there were nothing but bone as every bone of them stood out perfectly and I found some signs of interest in it. Sure, what happened I have no words for and think it to be one of the worst warfare methods ever seeing as how roughly six million Jews were killed and ten million people - The Russians, Gypsies, Mentally retarded, disabled, homosexuals included, were killed in all. I would not support the Nazis, nor do I do so now for the other white supremacy and other racial groups. I just have an attraction to death, so much that the sights of those people could not bring my eyes away from the screen. Go ahead, say what you want.. Rant: Why do so many people consider suicide to be the cowards way out? They say this without once thinking that those who have done it or have thought of doing so had no reasons but that they could no longer deal with it. Sure, that may be the reason but to talk to someone about it is no more easier than it would be for a gay person to "come out" to his Catholic parents. They say that nothing can be that bad in their lives for someone to just give up. One: How the fuck would they know what could have gone in someone's life or mind for it to be bad. Does anyone ever really need a reason to think of dying or actually going through with it? And two: Who gives them such a right to say that they have nothing on in their life to do such things? All of this, and more was spoken of in Spanish class today and I actually walked out that I was so angry at their stupid words, almost did the same in History when we talked of kamikazes, the suicide Japanese pilots in World War 2 and then the suicide bombers in the Middle East. Rave: Mohawks rock.. I want a black and pink colored one, I give this sudden want of a hairstyle in credit to Ryan, whom was in my English class last semester and got his hair dyed purple before shaving/cutting it mohawk style, and now we just scream "Fuck off.." and "Bitch" to each other in the halls. Yes, we scream it as the metal bands do. Great, yes? May you think, because without it we are nothing. -_- Just stumble and fall into a world that's overcrowded, and you will not fine me won't reconize me. I won't reconize myself...