I am so tired , so tired of work . It is as if when I am not working I am sleeping . Past few days haven't been so great , just work and pushing angry / sad thoughts from my head. You know I have known since friday afternoon and I still haven't told a single one of my friends ... I really wanted to vent to someone . Then again I don't , because it really is depressing . Anyhow on another topic I really wish school wuold come back because this summer is not turning out to be what it was cracked up to be. I just don't like the fact that I work when my friends don't... and when they do I don't . So I never see anyone ... So the other day I had a freak out on my mom .. you know i just flipped into crazy emotion .. and the thing was I dont really undersatnd my reasoning behind it. I just flipped and I felt so bad because I knew it was my fault it was like I was seeing how angry I could get at everything. Well I guess I should just hold my breath for the next few days .. that way I can just get thro work and move on to better things ...which in the end winds up being more work . I just don't think its fair to make a teenager close 3 days in a row and then ask her to do the same thing the week after... It is like asking me to sign a contract saying "swear to be grumpy and tired , and whipped." The worst part is I just nod and smile. " you got to feel it , don't take notes just , clear out your mind, let go your pride, feel it inside its a, its a , its a ! "