I've sheded it. The minute I stepped forth onto school grounds with my papers in hand and my shakey hand clinging to my phone. I knew it. I had a message. I gulped and moved and breathed carefully the whole time. I knew it wasn't...what it could have been. It hasn't been since the first time. Now I'm calm with what it could have been. It was school. It was being in front of so many people, you know they don't want to know about you. Your a face in their book and in their life, they see you. Without you, you'd be missed. But not truely missed by them and that hardens the experience of being near so many of them. Its death by attitude. I stood. I stood in line, in a hot hot(heated) room for an hour. I'm sure of it. It was crowded and boring and I thought of how much time in punishment I'd sit for pushing everyone and going berserk.