Yay!!!! I signed in. I'm so prrrroud of myssself. :-D Haven't posted on here since... whenever. :-p Ermm.. so.. now what do I have to say that's even remotely interesting, you ask? I dunno, I tell you. Uh.. mainly I'm on here right now out of sheer lonliness and lack of better things to do. I have no one to talk to. Yay. My BEST FRIEND recently moved back closer to me, and conveniently forgets to give me his new number!! He was supposed to come see me!! LIKE A MONTH AGO!!! (MORE!!) Dumbass. I tried calling his family to get his number, but they're useless of course- I mean they've got like six kids, all boys, and therefore the place is chaos and nobody ever gives messages, even though they say they will, and they don't call you back and they delete you off the answering machine.. Grrah. So you know what? Screw em. Obviously I'm not important enough to talk to now that he's got himself a new boy toy. Even though we both promised each other that even if we didn't keep in touch with anybody else from high school, we would still talk to each other. Yeah right. Dumbass. Well, there goes another relationship down the tubes. Speaking of which.. my boyfriend left the country. NO phone number. Emails like.. every two weeks at best. Shit. I mean, I know that he had to go because his dad's like 90 and he's dying.. but leaving for indeterminate periods of time?? Not cool. Also down the tubes. Which is especially great considering it kinda started out in the crapper. Funny though.. even though I know that the smart thing probably would be to break up with him (although in fact it would be never to go out with him in the first place), at the same time I really miss having at least SOMEONE to talk to, and I keep thinking how if/when he comes back how I'll be such a sweet perfect little girlfriend and way better than before (and then hopefully he'll be nicer too..) and thinking about things I want to do for him and with him... I really just need a life, don't I? Instead of worrying about all the people who just aren't there and not having someone that I can call at like 3:00 in the morning.. (which really happens to be more like 10 or 12 to me because my shedule's fucked) and ending up talking to guys I don't really know who want to use me because they're the only ones around in the middle of the bloody night and I like to feel wanted or appreciated for something. I could be going somewhere, and damn well should too. But considering that it's me, I probably won't. Heh.. for the past month I've been talking to Army recruiters. Still don't know if I'm going to do it or not. (Or if I'll go to college instead, or, in fact, do anything..) I wasn't really serious about the military to begin with. I was just willing to let them talk about it and now it's gone a little further because I took some tests too. Now they want me to enlist and I haven't made up my mind. Might not be a bad idea. I kind of need somebody to kick my ass sometimes. Trouble is, I don't like it. And as far as the job goes, I'd be happy, but I really don't think I'm very much for all that military shit. I'm too soft. Too lazy. To foolish and whatever.. It probly wouldn't be a good deal. But what the hell, it's better than nothing, right? Definitely I have to do something.. We'll see. For now I'm going to bed. I had a long, boring, work filled day to recover from, and another one to start tomorrow. yay. But I have to earn more money, see... so I can blow it all on ebay aucions and clothes. Muy importante. :-p Yeah, like hell. Well, I do save a litte... like, I now have enough to buy about half a car which I wouldn't be able to or really want to (but do NEED to) drive. Err.. yeah. And I really really REALLY REALLY REALLY want to travel and learn some languages. Also too damn expensive. And of course there's those hazy worthless dreams of college and houses and.. stuff. Yep. Mebbe in another million years or so. Meh.. more like my next life. I think this one is doomed to be utterly pointless. Whee. Cya later, all you people out there who I don't know! Honestly, you deserve a medal for reading all the way through this rubbish. Yay for you. Give yourself a pat on the back for being a very very big time waster. Thx! Yeah.. wow.. shutting up now.. too much of this is just the PMS and the 4:01 a.m. talking.. bye.