98 - I'm sorry...

by crusader
9:27 PM Ugh... I'm sorry guys. I haven't really been myself lately. I really couldn't tell you why, but whatever. I've been really out of it for a while, and however normal I've seemed to everybody else, I've really been thinking a lot. So here goes... I'm sorry dad. I'm sorry I couldn't be the perfect damned son who shared the exact same interests with his dad, and who is a little different than the other kids. I'm sorry I couldn't meet your expectations of what a good son should be, and I'm sorry I'll never make you proud. I wish I could. I strive for it every day, but nothing seems to be good enough for you. I'm sorry mom. I'm sorry that you're little boy has grown up. I know you never wanted me to because I was such a good kid, but life changes and people do too. I'm sorry that I'm not normal like the other kids, but you know what? Nobody is normal. We're all different and special in our own way, and for some reason you can't see that in me. I'm sorry I'm such a dissipointment. I really wish I could've made you proud mom, but I guess I never will. I'm sorry to both of you because I'm not the happy, optimistic kid you thought I'd be. I'm sorry I like wearing black and I'm sorry that I'm a little cynical at times. Life isn't all rainbows and happy times. I'm sorry I'm hollow and insensitive at times, and I'm sorry I'm not what you want me to be. Life isn't all happy times, and you two should know that best of all. I'm sorry John that I was never the best friend. I tried to be there as often as I could for you buddy, but I never could. I know you've been through some rough shit, but you'll be alright now. Best of luck in Thunder Bay. I'm sorry Samantha that I tried to be the cool older brother that some people wish they had. I'm sorry I tried to look out for you and knock out people who did you wrong, but apparently it's not good enough for you. I'm sorry to everybody...I'm sorry if I was a good enough friend, if I wasn't a good enough boyfriend, if I wasn't there for you or whatever. I've been trying my hardest, but apparently for most people it just isn't good enough. A tout le monde, A tout mes amis. Je vous aime, Je dois partir. "A Tout le Monde" - Megadeth
Read 3 comments
First of all, do you really think that ANY of use live up to be what our parents want. We are going to be our own person. Some parents have accepted that, some dont. Some encourage it, some mold us. But no matter what, parents are never truely happy with who you are. They don't want us to grow up, they don't want us to do alot of things. And you shouldnt apologize for anything. IM NOT FINISHED! cont....
Thomas, you have been a great guy since the day I met you. Your a great friend to us all. Never, AND I MEAN NEVER, think that you have to change yourself. People will like you for who they are, or they dont. And someone will love you for who you are, so never change alright? Really, stop saying sorry, cause your normal. We all are normal. We are our selves normal. You are normal Thomas Harris. One of a kind. And I wouldnt have it any other way!:)
Oh and btw *give you a friendly hug*
Stop beating yourself up about it alright. We all have our demons, we all have problems. We might never make anyone proud in our lives. But your my friend, and it upsets me that you feel this way. Im proud of you, the person you are, and the person you will be. and PS. You'll be a great boyfriend to the right girl someday.