Why God dost thou torture me so? I once looked upon thee as a wise Entity, only to have my hopes crushed As though a hammer to an anvil. Thou hast given me life, for which I give thee thanks, but thou also hast Taken from me that which is most important. Thou gavest me a month of pure joy, One I would relive over and over again If I could warp the flow of time. But then thou gavest me a hellish Week and three days, one which I Would go back and change if thou Wouldst lendest me the power. Then thou tooketh it all away. So I must ask: Why God dost thou torture me so? If thou art a kind and loving God Like you and your followers claim to be, Then why hast thou taken away the single Person most important to me?!? Dear God I loved her so, and thou tookest Her away from me. E'en now as I sit in this dark chamber By myself, wishing everything that was Would again become everything as it was, I wish only that I had the power To bend and warp the flow of time, If only to hold her in my arms again, Knowing I will never again be able to do so. 5:13 PM I was thinking that on the way home today after I was finished with all my chemistry stuff. I knew from yesterday that Amanda and I were probably going to go our seperate ways soon, judging from the way we spoke. I did my best to prepare myself for it, but even as I heard the words I knew I was not. Even though she spoke with a soft tone of voice, as though to comefort me, the words still hit me like a kick in the nuts. I wanted to cry. I wanted to run away from everything and just cry. But I forced myself to endure everything she had to say, and I barely spoke afterwards. She asked me if I hated her and I don't, and I never will. Its impossible for me to go from caring that much about someone to hating them. I'll never hate Amanda. There's only a small group of people on the face of this planet that I truly despise, and she's definately not on that list. The cold whipped past me and burned my cheeks as we kept walking, and she tried to comfort me, though I knew it probably wouldn't help. It did to a degree, but not to the degree I had hoped. So we walked to Chemistry, and I got doing my work like I was doing before I had left to go and pick her up. I tried not to cry the entire time, and was successful for the most part. But after a while all the songs that were playing from Ms. Weaver's laptop were depressing songs about breakups, and I almost broke down right there in the middle of class. I left when I was finished, and she asked me if I'd be online later, and I just said "probably". She gave me a heart hand gesture and a smile, and I couldn't help but smile back. So I left. I couldn't get a ride home, so I ended up walking. I thought about everything, and I ended up saying exactly what I wrote before the entry. I broke down as soon as I got home. I wept for...I don't even know how long before I finally stopped. I'm doing alright now I suppose, even though I'm still feeling down. I don't know how long she'll take to get over, considering how much I cared about her. Either way, I feel miserable. But I guess I'll be fine. I always am.