I never thought that my parents splitting would affect me as much as it has. It's not that I wish they were back together, because I don't. It's all the stuff that comes with it. The court dates, the fighting, the tears, the suffering, the expectation that we'll pick sides, the propaganda, the brain washing...the list goes on. It's so hard to be in the middle of this. I feel like a rag doll being pulled at both ends.

Everyone in this house shuns me. They don't understand me at all. None of them know what University is like. They don't know what it can do to you. None of them know what the divorce has done to me mentally, albeit I don't know what it's done to them, how they're coping. I'm expected to pay for everything. Dad's to bitter to help out with mothers day, to broke to help with birthdays, and mom has three children to care for with out any help from my dad. She can't afford to put food in our mouths half the time. I have to pay for Mothers day, Fathers day, Birthdays, and the transportation. I'm a full time student with a dead end minimum wage job. I'm lucky to have any money. I can't afford an expensive dinner for my dad but my brother and sister almost had my head when I told them no. I've been close to being kicked out of my house over this issue.

Why am I the only one who has to do this? My sister has a job. She can spare twenty fucking dollars. Besides I'm a twenty year old University student. My biggest worry should be who I'm going out with tonight, or what shoes match that dress...

I feel isolated. I feel like I have no one to talk to. Just now I was trying to hold back tears talking to my sister. She scoffed and told my brother i was doing it for attention. All I wanted was for some one to listen. I'm tired of listening to others I just want to be heard.

I'm not happy, I'm not optimistic, I'm not calm or collected. I'm sad, my world is falling apart at the seams and I'm so stressed out I'm starting to have serious heath issues.

But no one cares right? I'm stuck having to do this on my own.