This "rain storm" is seriously turning into a hurricane. I should go buy an umbrella or something. With finals constantly on my head, I feel like I am going to explode. God how dance frusterates me. How I am falling behind and someone is slowy becoming better than I. OGD DAMN IT. I work my ass off and all she does is dance. Cock sucker. This little "diet" isn't really working. I ate a cookie yesterday. And pizza today. GODDDD I can't believe one of my friends would do something like that. I swear to god my jaw dropped down to my toes when she told me that her and J hooked up, totally sober. I told her it didn't bug me, put a mask on my face, but all I could do was stand there wide-eyed and not say anything else. People obviously don't know whats going on in my head, and put words into my mouth. How dare they. Why dont you just freakin shoot my while I'm down, damnit. Dyl came into 4th period today, and Derek was just being Derek by doing stupid but funny things. And then she looks at me, with a very serious face, and says, "Oh my god, he is the male version of you." DING DING. Well duh. Maybe thats why I was attracted to him in the first place. Too bad rejection is starting to become my best friend, I'm starting to know it quite fondly. Then she goes on and says, "Oh my god, he's the male version of Monique!" Another reason why I probaly wanted him. Monique completed me, the was my right leg, my left hand, my other half. Something that resembles her in any sort of way could obviously tigger something in my brain. My friends are so happy. It kinda seems like I'm the odd one out. The ugly duckling. They all got invited to senior ball. I didn't. I start to think of it and want to cry. Not because of the whole tangible idea of some stupid dance, it's just the fact that I didn't get asked. I'm not like them. It probaly has something to do with this awful face of mine. THats enough depressing stuff for today. I guess some people were born with tragedy in their blood. I gotta go study for finals, then maybe dance this slump away. That seems like thats all I have anymore. JUst to dance when everything seems to whirling around about me. Amanda dont say you love me, unless you really mean it, because i might do something crazy.......like believe it.