My mom is a jerk. I'm not going to try to be nice to her anymore. Whenever anyone tells me to yell at my mom or something, I won't do it, because I have to respect her. Well I don't feel that I have to respect her anymore. Today, I searched through all the change in the entire house, counted it a million times, seperated it into ziploc bags, until I had just enough money to buy the shoes I wanted. I didn't want to ask my mom for money, because I do it too much. But I cleaned every room in the house, saved all of my dollars, babysat for the Perrys, and today, I had just enough. I told my mom that I wanted to go to the mall to get my shoes, and she laughed at me. I don't know what she was laughing at, but when she was finished, she said she was going to pick my brother up from Albany. Six hours later, I started to worry, because they still weren't home yet. I was wrong to worry. They had gone to the mall for four hours. Without me. They came back with new bags from everywhere. She bought Adam new shoes, new outfits, everything. I asked her why she didnt take me, and she said I wasnt invited. Adam started asking her why she didnt take me, and she said "I didn't take her on purpose. She doesnt deserve to go." I brought all the money I'd been saving downstairs to show her that I was serious, and she started laughing again. WHAT IS THERE TO LAUGH AT? NOTHING'S FUNNY! Why do my parents treat me like a form of entertainment? She explained to me last night that she doesnt acutally listen to a word I say. I told her last night about my plan to save money to buy my own shoes, and she just kept telling me to shut up because she wasnt listening. I dont think I can respect her at all now. She tries to make up for everything by writing me a check for lunch or something, but she still treats me like this every day. Whenever I try to have a conversation with her about ANYTHING, the only response I ever get is "Why are you so talkative? Did you take your ritalin?" How am I supposed to have a healthy relationship with my mother when she won't listen to a word I say? And when I ask her to call someone about my contacts which I need to see, or my inhaler which I need to live, or my Ritalin which I need to do well in school, nevermind all the times I've asked her to call the piano tuner or to look into getting me piano lessons, she tells me I complain too much, and if I actually get her to agree to do it, she says she will in a minute, and then she "forgets" and eventually changes her mind. She told me the other day that I don't actaully need my inhaler, and that ibuprofen will do the same thing. How can she even say that? I've almost died so many times because I didn't have my inhaler. If ibuprofen really did the same thing, they wouldn't sell inhalers. She's psychologically unstable. She says that she doesn't like her mother because her mother is psychotic, then she asked me why I don't like her, because she isn't psychotic. But she is. I really am afraid for her mental health. She's always telling me what a terrible daughter I am. But I try to ignore when she says that and I still try to be a better daughter. But I cant anymore. She's become an enemy. At the risk of sounding like just another angsty teen, I really don't think I want to live here anymore. I'd give up the pool, the hot tub, the acre field, the forest, the ice cream shop down the street, just to live with any other family, even if only for a little while. Look at how my brother and my foster sister turned out. I don't want that to happen to me. I want to get out of here.