i dont know whats going on... maybe im just longing for the physical...but why do I still see Rae as I used to... I spent a great deal lookin at her sleeping today, and earlier i could just cry over everything. to be honest, i feel like ending it all if i should be blunt. i dont feel like doing my internship anymore... i feel depressed and god....i dunno - i feel i shouldnt have done this trip, and at the same time im happy that i did.... :( I keep hearing ryan.....it drives me freakin insane - im not gonna go to rock n bowl...its prolly gonna give me the rest...