I remember the day I thought I'd see Rae for the last time. I was babysitting, always thinking of Rae with every breath I took. I feel lost and lonely, when she's not there. I was babysitting and called her, to check on her and how she was doing with her violent coughs that had been going on for some days. She was doing ok, despite the fact that she was ill. A friend was at her house and another arrived, as we talked about how our days had been. It became clear that I would go visit her, after I was done with babysitting. I love children, I love the feeling of being a father. About an hour later, I got picked up. As I stepped into the car, I felt a certain feeling of relief and freedom. My mind was focused on her, Rae, just like it always had been and always will be. I knew I was worried about her. Happy about us, but worried about her. Especially because of her lung case. She doesn't want me to worry, but as I love her, I care about her, I worry.