have you ever looked in the mirror and hated what you saw before you. have you ever looked deep down inside of yourself and found nothing?? im empty. hello world Tara has nothing inside of her. today i will tell the truth and no longer lie to myself. I am empty. because of sex. because of how much of myself that i give. because of the way i have chosen to live. i am empty. wow huh? because of this empty sex. becuase of sex to get love and never recieve. i have to pray that the Lord fill me up and make me whole again. I know why I feel this way. Yesterday i should have written in here, and told this diary how i felt. how i thought i was going to hell. because i couldnt change. because i didnt want to. because i wanted to live in sin. and now its loud and clear. change Tara. because you are empty without it. but i look ahead and i know i will not. i know i am going to continue to fuck my boyfriend. and after him stop. but he's given me no reason to get scared and stop. so ill keep going. and then one day. somebody might slip my guard. and ill do it again. maybe one day ill be so lonely. that ill just give in. so that somebody will be with me. even if just for one night. sad what my life has come to. and now i know what virginity is for. and now i am so low. ive never felt this way before. and as i write. i feel better. i need to know how i feel. so i can just ask God to forgive me. for being who i am. and falling into the temptations of the world. i wonder if i stop other sins. and just do this one will he forgive me? or allow me into the gates of heaven when its time? i wonder dont you? well i have a project due now. plus i know nobody cares. you hardly know me. why should you? so ill end it here. ~TARA~