today was been terrible. i usually try to stay as "positive" as possible, but today isnt like that... it all started yesterday. My grandpa betz took a fall in the kitchen at 6am. he couldnt get himself up and neither could my grandma (who has lung cancer) she called 911 and they came and got him. i found out when i woke up and was so upset... my grandpa and i just started to talk a lot more and they would take us out to lunch a lot and i loved that. now this? its not fair, but i do understand that life isnt fair.... anyways, my poor granddad broke two ribs and his shoulder. this killed me to think hes in the hospital..again. He already has shoulder and knee problems. ugh plus he has emphazemia (a reason i`ll NEVER smoke, ever!) god, i would do anythin to trade places with him... just do take him out of all the pain hes going thru. i called him in the hospital b/c he was in to much pain for company and he was his great usually self, it makes me smile just to think about our convo. he was funny b/c he knows i hate blood so he was telling me this story when he was in the military and they were in line for blood testing. There was this guy a couple people in front of him, tellin everyone off and sayin thats he's so tuff and can beat down anyone.... then he says, the minute that guy was stuck with a needle he fainted!! hehe god i love grandpa, of course he tells stories much better then me, but anyways... we had a long convo about everything and brave ol` grandpa even confessed to me that was so sore. After talking with him i went down to zachs to watch movies, that was fun. im glad i have friends like zach and jeff. they are so great. then katie came over, shes great too and so is bri. today at 2am, tim calls me on my cell..yes, 2 A M. i was of course sleeping b/c school is commin faster then i think (uggh) but of course tim was up with ed and danny on tims roof and so i talked to tim for a little bit..it was actually kinda funny.. anyways i almost shit a brick at 3 AM when my HOME PHONE started to ring.. i mean i thought maybe tim meant to call my cell and called my house instead.... but god, i sure wish it was tim when i found out who it really was..... it was the hospital and grandpa was in terrible shape, he was swollen so much his eyes shut, yes, it was bad. the docter was on the phone with dad and i did all i could to listen in.. my phone in my bedroom was dead b/c stupid me forgot to put it onthe charger, so i had my ear pressed up to my door but i still couldnt hear much but i was lucky my parents door was kinda open.. all i heard was it was the nurse, he was in intensive care at holy spirit hospital; punctured lung and daddy was leaving in 5 minutes to go pick up grandma and go to intensive care... i was a MESS.. i didnt know what was going on, how he was, i mean god, i just talked to him the night before and now this? ugh it still drives me insane and i seriously would do anythin to take his place. ugh, so i evenually fell to sleep and when i woke up this mornin at 10 dad was just gettin home.... he explained to me that grandpa's fall did a lot of damage. as i knew he broke several ribs and his shoulder blade. but last night (which was when he got the call) his heart-rate shot thru the roof and he was swollen so much his eyes were shut and he was swollen b/c both of his lungs were punctured and i guess they were leakin or somethin...and he was on a resporator that he needed to breath and that scared me almost to death. aunt colleen was on a resporator to help her breath before she went to heaven, same with aunt fran, and mom told me about this one worker at her work place that had the same. this really set me back.... :/ he was un consious too... then the sweet guy my dad is took my grandma out to lunch and spend the day with his mom and tryed to visit as much as possible with grandpa, even tho the visitin hours are so dumb and he was unconsious. when he got home he gave us an undate, he was still unconsious and got has tubes in both lungs, the swellin kinda went down and his heart -rate was steady. this was kinda a reief because he has always has high blood pressure. around 7pm tonite mom and i went to my grandparents house and told them the bad news (they are my grandparents on my side) i was soooooooo glad to talk to my grandma and i hope im just like her when im that age, she always makes me feel better, and even when im down grandpa cleary always has a way to make me laugh out loud. im so close to my family, and maybe thats not the coolest thing in the world, but hey, if someone has a problem with it, fuck them. my family has always been there for me, and i wouldnt trade them for the world! so when we got home about an hour ago i asked dad for an update because i knew, no doubt he`d talked to grandma betz at the hospital. everythin was the same, still unconsious but they tryed to take him off this one med. and i guess it kinda woke him up and he started moving his arms and pullin at the tubes to his lungs and thats not good so hes back on many medicines... and thats the update. god, i pray for grandpa and that he gets back to the usual big-beautiful hearted guy he is. hes so awesome and is like the best story teller you`ll meet, b/c hes been 2 so many interesting places! i love you veryyyy veryyyy much grandpa!