Onedeath has oh-so-persuasively persuaded me to write an update, thereby reaffirming my admittance that perhaps our relationship has grown into that of a friendly aquaintance, and therefore adding Onedeath to my friends list. (And yes, you may add me as well; always talking about how you need to make friends and all. Aww.) It's Thursday, as is the course of astrological chronology for the year of 2004, and I have just come from a delightful Art for Elementary Teachers class. You know, when I was in high school, I never really did get the whole one-point and two-point perspective thing. It wasn't that I was dumb - oh no, you all know that I am not stupid - it's just that it kind of went in one ear and out the other ... that, and I'm not really the most spatial of individuals. But now I can truthfully say that I can now do one to three-point perspective and understand what the fuck I'm doing. Maybe it's because we went back to the basics and it was taught to me not only by a teacher that I admire and like, but also on an elementary level, without the preconceived notion that I understand what the hell art people are talking about. Anyone out there used to watch a show on Nickelodeon called Are You Afraid of the Dark? There was one episode I remember when I was a kid, about how you're not supposed to stare at a flame directly because when the flame goes out, the fire ghost will come after you ... or ... something like that. It's always haunted me a bit, but I've never actually took it seriously - I just remember it every time I stare at a flame for too long. But what has me talking about that today is that I lit a dark blue candle last night - because, according to my chart, that's the Taurus color of the year - it's a little tea light candle thing. I lit and tried to take a nap after a long day of running around ... but I ended up just staring at it for a long time. And then the flame just ... died. It went out. I was like "whoa." I already knew that my apartment was haunted - or at least, that's what we claim is the reason behind all the strange phenomena happening - but that's JUST what I need, you know? ANOTHER ghost on top of the other. Heh. Yesterday afternoon, God gave me a sign - yes. I went to apply for the nursery position at the child care center in this church down the street. Yeah, church was locked. God's saying "this really isn't the job for you. Look for something else." Funny how sarcasm can be so difficult to catch when it's in writing. And even when it's spoken, it's a little difficult to catch, too - well, with some people anyway. Unfortunately, sarcasm is wasted on the dumb. Hmm ... what else to update about? Went to chapel today. Yeah. Had to sing with the Singers during service, that was really the only reason I went. Most people who know me could tell you flat out that they know I'm not Christian (that sometimes I really don't know what I am; more spiritual than anything), some of those people were there, but didn't ask questions because I was just singing. But it's amazing how, since freshman year here, I haven't really felt out of place at all coming to a Methodist-affiliated college. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Chapel. Had to sing - and was late, thereby missing the first song. Why was I late? Because I had Religions of the World class right before that. I -really- love that class. Talked about Representation and Reality today. Compared Orthodox Judaism with Zoroastrianism. This class is just too fucking cool for words. Anyway, guy update, I guess. Haven't spoken to Grant since that night. It's no big deal really. We didn't exactly exchange phone numbers - just had a good time, that's all. And yes, I was a bit taken with him - but the more I think about it, the more I ask myself "would it really work out between us?" A close professor of mine once said to me while she was half-drunk - not only that she thought that I was a lesbian (which is not true - and no, I have nothing against lesbians; I'm good friends with one), but that I'm an intelligent, attractive, funny, talented, and all around fucking-cooler-than-shit young woman ... and that I intimidate guys. She said this, then proceeded to tell me that the guy for me, I wouldn't find around here. Is this true? Started thinking about this a lot after that night, and I came to a startling revelation. Yes, I am all of those things - and I thought that those were the kind of things that guys liked in girls, but I must be wrong. Maybe it's not so much intimidation that keeps them from approaching me ... but maybe ... Maybe it's because I'm the kind of person that guys would want to settle down with. And guys my age ... just aren't ready to settle down yet. Yes, I have been asked out by several 40+ guys - of course, I must "disincline to aquiest their requests" or whatthefuckever - but I really am the kind of girl that guys would want to settle down with. You know ... I can't believe I'm saying this to all of you people, but ... I really do wish that I had a boyfriend - significant other ... whatever. I know that I'm a busy person. I know that I have my "things" that I have to do, my own side to life - and if I could just find a guy who understands that I have my things, and he has his - that I have my friends, and he has his - but would be willing to actually spend time with me when we both have time to share and do, you know, whatever we feel like doing together ... Sounds like a fucking dream, doesn't it? Might explain why I've been single for my entire life. But clearly, the guy I'm searching for does not exist in this region of the world ... which is my reason for wanting to travel, I guess - well, part of it anyway. That being said. I haven't eaten anything but a few Andes mints all day so now I'm going off to get food. You're welcome to join me ... if you're out there.