It's been a very long 48 hours ... Very long. Tonight was opening night for Madrigal Dinner. With the Highland Elementary kids. It was okay ... for them. I mean, for us professional college students ... it really wasn't all that great. Josh, as much as I love him, did not kow his lines. And a lot of the kids' parents didn't like him because he didn't know them. He got bitched out by Dr. Earle. She's threatened to replace him with Brad (Mc, not Kelley's boyfriend, different Brad). Brad was the lord of the manor last year. This year, he's the first lord, meaning he has a lot of speaking parts. Tonight, the second lord, Eric, kind of didn't show up, so Brad had to cover for him, too. We don't know if Eric's going to even be there Friday and Saturday night ... so Brad might have to cover for him, too. You just don't understand ... if Brad gets changed to the lord of the manor, everything's just going to be fucked up beyond all belief. Seth can't do it because he's already volunteered to be a jester, considering we don't have any and we need three. We still need two more ... and this ... is seriously starting to stress people out. Tuesday's rehearsal had to have been the most disorganized, disrespectful, unprofessional rehearsal I have been to since grade school. I cannot believe some of the choir members. When the conductor is addressing something or even really just TALKING, people are supposed to shut up and do as their told. People have a tendency to just not show up, to talk when someone is asking a question and Beth answers, thereby eveyone else misses the answer because they were distracted by the talking. I'm getting tired of hearing Beth repeat the same answer every ten minutes because someone asked, because they weren't paying attention before. I can only imagine how she must feel. I want this Madrigal Dinner to be a good one. I really do. But Brad, Seth, and I can't do this all on our own. It has to be a joint effort. I'm sure that everyone was starting to feel the negative vibes pouring away from me by the end of rehearsal Tuesday. I'm not a violent person, but I was so close to actually slapping several people - one of which wasn't even THERE. Her name's Amanda, and we're supposed to be playing in an instrumental quartet as strolling minstrels - and we have yet to practice all together with her there. I need caffeine. I haven't slept for over 48 hours. I have an 8:00 class and it's after 1:00 AM. I have 6 lesson plans to do and 3 pages of homework. Think I can do it? I'm taking a break right now. I'm in the middle of my first lesson plan. The first one is always the hardest. Once I get going, things get a lot easier. Looks like it's going to be another all-nighter. I had my card file ready for Kiddie Lit - the one with the books, author, pages, summaries, personal reactions and ways to apply it to the classroom ... And then I lost my balance right outside the building and they just went all over the place. I had to re-alphabetize them all. And I think I might be missing a few. Then I get to class and I realize that we were having a quiz over something that I completely forgot to study for - not like I had time for it anyway. I couldn't even find my book. I can't focus. I can't concentrate ... on anything. My thoughts are filled about a certain someone - and the fact that the more I want to sleep, the harder it is to actually fall asleep. I have another card file due tomorrow that I still need to work on. As well as a paper and a pamplet- luckily, I can just e-mail those to my professor when I have time over the weekend. Which is rare. I can't believe I'm actually looking forward to Monday - I actually have nothing to do that morning ... When I get in tomorrow night, I'm going straight to bed. I don't have class after 12:30 and I have to be at Mad Dinner setup at 6:30 ... that gives me 6 hours ... My parents are coming tomorrow night, too. I hope I make them proud. I haven't told them the happy news yet. I haven't told anyone, actually. One little bit that really brightened my whole week - I got a major part in the Vagina Monologues. Yes, me, little Melissa, has a part. I know I'll make Joy proud of me. I get to make orgasmic noises on stage. I have the part of Woman #3 in "I was 12. My Mother Slapped Me." But the big thing is what made me squeal with glee and dance around. It's a monologue called "The Woman Who Loved to Make Vaginas Happy." Oh yes. I'm going to enjoy this. It's a very important monologue. Feel free to congradulate me. Joy says I need to build up some self-esteem, especially after the time I've had the past two days. I mean, I'm about to lose my Lord of the Manor. Given, yes, I think that Brad would make a far better lord, but still ... Everything's just ... falling apart with Madrigal Dinner. And my classes, too ... and I seriously need to get back to these lesson plans. P.S. I invite everyone to come see The Vagina Monologues on the week of Valentine's Day here at KWC. Just message me on AIM for any information you need - I should have info by Monday night.