its so cold outside!! omg...i was out there for about an hour...waiting for 3 guys to show up. they came by after skool...wanted to kick randys ass...so we snapped on them, n they left real quick. haha. so then we were waiting for them to come back n show up again...but so far, they havent...im sure they'll be back b4 the weekend is over. thats for 2days news lol. i have sum good news and sum bad news tho. ok...good news 1st: IM BACK WITH STAN!!! wo0t wo0t. im so happy bout that. but hes been gone lately...at basketball banquets, then his moms work for the day...n stuff like that. but ya..thats good tho :) bad news: phill called me last nite..n we were talking or w/e n then he had to go n was gonna call back...but then he asked to talk to my sister real quick b4 he went, but i didnt kno where she was, so he just left. then he called back, n asked if i would be his gurl...n i said i cant...n he said y...n i said cuz im with stan again....n he got realli quiet...then he said..."i wanted to talk to ur sister cuz i wanted her to find out ur ring size...cuz i have a ring for u, but have to get it sized...n then i was gonna surprise u with it at ur house..." i just froze n was like...o...wow. so i just ruined everything :'(...it sux man. FUCKIN BITCH!! forget the good news part...ITS FUCKED NOW! he fuckin dumped me for a fuckin bitch that lives closer to him!! i cant fuckin believe him....damn!! i hope she fuckin dies or sumthin or gets hurt from him or w.e....i hope he cheats on her ass like he did to me. n he said he loved me n wanted to be with me for a long ass time. WTF STAN?! U FUCKIN LIAR. u fuckin hurt me like fuckin shit now. naw, wait...i aint fuckin sad like last time...im fuckin pissed as a bitch man. how the fuck u gonna dump me cuz this new bitch is closer to you?! distance dont fuckin matter wen it comes time to love. well, i guess u realli dont love me like u said u did, if u chose this fuckin bitch over me...with all that me n u had...with everything that was said...with all the texts u sent me...with all the pictures u designed for me...with all the "i loves you" we said...with all the kisses, hugs, beating hearts...with EVERYTHING we fuckin had. damn!! now i kno how christine felt wen u did this to her. ura a fuckin jerk, like everyone told me. they all said,"no no no, u dont wanna go out with stan...he does nothing but control, hurt, n lie. hes a jerk" but i didnt believe it, i didnt wanna believe it..i told myself, no, theyre wrong..he cant be like that. so i didnt listen to him n went with u. u cheated on me...but i forgave u cuz i fell for u soo fuckin hard. then we broke up cuz of the distance...then we got back again, cuz once again...i was lost without you...then u turned around n did this to me...u fuckin lied, hurt, n cheated on me. it feels like u stabbed me repeatedly...but u kno wat? ima clean up the stab wounds...ima pull myself 2gether...n move on. get a REAL bf. one whos there for me thru thick n thin...who actually loves me...who i can be with for the rest of my life...sum1 who wont HURT me, like u did. ya...thats rite..ima move on. find me a man...not sum lil immature boi that acts like a lil gurl n loves to play mind games on me n watch me cry over him, like u. ima have the time of my life while im single..n ima have the time of my life wen i get a new bf. but for some strange reason...i still love you..n always will...idk y, but i do. theres just sumthing about u that brings me to u. n that sumthin i dont like...it always gets me hurt in sum way. hopefully i get over u sum day...