Happy New Years. I'm not doing shit. <33

I'm not angry any longer. Things have taken a turn for the better. I've found new infatuation. Merry Christmahannakuanzica everyone! ^_^

Is this the way it's really going down? Is this how we say goodbye? Should've known better when you came around That you were gonna make me cry It's breaking my heart to watch you run around 'Cause I know that you're living a lie That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find... WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND. Yeah. I'm pissed. Josh broke up with me like 3 days ago. Want to know why? His ex girlfriend. I don't know if I've said something about this, but him and his ex have been hanging out a lot lately, and then I got this idea that he was cheating... so then I got uber jealous because I thought he liked her more than me/again... etc, etc, and it turns out I was right. He does. and he broke up with me to go out with her again. The first time they dated, it was like for 2 months and all of a sudden she just stopped talking to him like he didn't exist. BULLSHIT. I shouldn't have to suffer because she's a dumb bitch who can't get her own man, and btw, she just broke up with her bf not to long before this either.. I hate her so much. So, my rules for dating now are: 1. Don't date boys who like their ex's [Josh} 2. Don't date boys who smoke weed [I hated that too, and that's also Josh] 3. Is basically Josh. Yeah. Lots of hate over here. but on a lighter note. I BOUGHT PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN THE DEAD MAN'S CHEST TONIGHT FINALLY AND I WANT TO GO WATCH IT AND I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!

Today is mine and Josh's 2 months. Doesn't seem like a lot but it's close lol.. I like him so much. =D I got to see him yesterday, but not today =( Yesterday was nice though. We went back to his mom's house and played Life with her, her boyfriend and his son. I had a great time. I think his mom likes me! Which is a good thing. No, a GREAT thing =D I wasn't nervous or anything either, which is even better. Now I don't feel so akward lol. Josh got his lisense too! I'm so proud of him ^_^ Now I just have to work on getting mine. The day will come, sooner or later haha... Well, I'm pretty tired actually. It's like 11:11 pm and I got up at 9:45 this morning or so. OOh. And I also saw 007 Casino Royale. Great movie, Daniel Craig plays an EXCELLENT Bond. I recommend you see it! see... secksay

HER. I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER. HER HER HER HER HER NEEDS TO DIE. I HATE THAT BITCH.

I just... Ugh. I need him more than he knows.

Today's my birthday!!!! Yaaaay!! I'm 17! Today for my birthday, I got a new digital camera, an MP3 Player, and 35 dollars so far. My dad is coming out tomorrow, with hopefully 50 more bucks for me. =D My friend Ryan gave me an X-Large bag of Snickers and a little Capt. Jack Sparrow action figure that's so sexy. I love it. I love Josh too, btw. He makes me feel so good ^_^ He's so sweet and adorable. In 4 days it will be our one month. Only. It seems like way longer... weird. The German exchange students are gone : / Sebastian took my picture before he left on Friday, what a sweetie. Ashley is trying to be my friend again. OH YEAH! I didn't tell you all about that. My best friend, like 2 weeks ago, wrote me a note saying she didn't want to talk to me anymore and that she couldn't stand me. Sooooo... I'm not talking to her. Whatever. But she comments me on myspace two days ago saying she misses me and she's sorry... etc. Whatever. Haha. Oh well right? So this birthday was probably the best one I've had in a while. Even if I didn't do anything really that exciting. It's crazy. Happy Birthday to me and anyone else out there that has one. ^_.^__^._^ |_..__.._| |_.Cake._| haha. <33

Fucking love this song. So two days ago, I got a virus sent to me, I finally think that it's gone. Thank god. Well as for the "no guy at the moment" deal, I have found one. And I couldn't be happier. Granted, he is my best friend's ex, so probably not my best choice, but he makes me feel so good about myself, he makes me laugh so much and he cares for me a lot. I care for him so much also. We started dating on September 25th. =D HAHA. We got some new German exchange students here for two weeks... I tell ya, one has long black hair and he's so sexy! Mmmm... then one named Sebastian, he has sweet dreads and listens to reggae, then one's name is Benjamin. I love that name, it's like Gabriel, which I also love. It's great. Everything's great. I love feeling so great. I'll leave you with that.

Hahaha, so like, today was a pretty busy day. First, I had to get up at 9:30 am to get ready and awake for my second behind the wheel for driver's ed at 11... then after that was done, I had to get ready for a fashion show that I was in for Fashion Bug at 2 pm. welllll the fashion show was really lame. Really. The only good part about it was the fact that I got 40% off of any of the clothes in the store that I wanted because I was in it, plus an additional 30% for their sale. So 70% is a pretty big discount. I got two really cute shirts and my homecoming dress today, I think they're all really cute. Now all I have to work on is getting myself a date... Yeah, the homecoming game for us is on October 6th, and the dance is October 7th. I'm pretty excited. I have been wanting to go to a dance alll summer and this one is coming up really soon.. I love dances, they're so much fun. School started on the 6th. I like all my classes now, because I got my Fiber, Fabric and Foods class changed to Cultural International Foods. FFF was stupid. I knew no one in that class.. and CIF I know a lot of people in haha... Sociology is pretty interesting. My teacher is pretty cool, but thinking that deep first hour of the day is hard work. CIF.. already said my peice. Study Hall... would be a lot better if I had something to do during it. Lots of friends in that class too. Painting is awesome. Mr. Pawl is my favorite art teacher.. plus there's Amber, Brianna, Becky, Josh, Alyssa, and Leander all in that class so it's 496864351 times better. mmm Geometry, so far it's pretty easy, but my teacher is hella annoying, and looks like a big bitch. LUNCH. I sit with my friend Ryan, Joe, and Cheyenne. I could care less about anyone else at that table, like Rachel or this other chick who's all anorexic because she thinks she's fat. I'll slap her. Brianna doesn't like her either because she's a skanky whore. Ha. wtf is my 7th hour... uhh Oh yeah, Ceramics. The whole week it smelled like sewage in there. That's because, there's a sewage line underneath us, and the drain part where they clean it out, was cleaned before school started... you ask why it still smelled? Well, after the janitors cleaned it, they forgot to put water back in there so the fumes couldn't seep up. Should be fixed by Monday. My last class is English 11 - American Lit. My teacher Mr. Johnson, is a firefighter in the summer. And he's very political, etc. I don't think we've even talked about anything English-like yet, only our veiws on stem cell research, abortion, the ten commandments, being prejudice or racist in certain situations, etc. He gets the class fired up. So there's no guy for me yet, but I don't really know. Long story. That's pretty much all I have to write about so far, I'll probably write next weekend about my second week of school. <33

^_^ So from now on I think I am going to update some more on here.. The other night I was reading over all of the stuff I had on here and in just about everyone that I went over, you could find Ricky's name at least two times lmao. So I think I am going to give you the low-down about what's happened to me in the past few months. [since June or so.] Okay, so, we got out of school in June, and I don't remember everything that had happened lol... on to July. July was a pretty busy month.. Wait, wasn't Warped Tour in June? I don't remember... But a really cool person took me to W.T. Her name is Sonya, and Brianna said that she had an extra ticket so she asked if I could go. I went with Sonya, her boyfriend Mikey, and Brianna.. we met up there with Ricky, who after like 20-30 minutes left me to go hang out with some other people, and of course I was mad, I mean, I liked him then. I had an awesome time at Warped Tour. Then July 5th was Ashley's sweet 16. I didn't get her anything yet but I will.. eventually. July 22nd was Ozzfest.. Ashley took me to that as her birthday party/present from her dad type thing. Ashley and I were in the front of the second stage while pretty much all of the bands played and then Ozzy came on. He was looking pretty good! But we could only last two songs up there because everyone was crushing us etc... so we got lifted out by security.. it was pretty awesome. Then the first stage... I got to see Avenged Sevenfold finally! Man I loved it! I think they did a great job, but there were people who kept booing... it was A7x's first year at Ozzfest. Also Disturbed and SOAD put on a pretty good show. I remember during Disturbed this lady was so piss drunk and high off of her ass that she was dancing around like a mad woman... she was with her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend and they just kept smoking joint after joint after joint. That woman had at least 4 by herself lmao.. I think I got a little buzzed too but I didn't really feel a difference. Um August. I've been pretty lazy lately. Ashley and I have had a few problems but I think all of those problems are going to end now.. she was dating our friend Josh, and was pushing me away, and Josh broke up with her twice and she just kept running back until I told him to finally tell her that he wasn't going to go back out with her because he had failed to mention that to her and was going to let her just think that something was going to happen again. But now that she knows it's for the best because she has time to recover and look for new, more exciting people when school starts. My friend Corey and I have been talking about taking a little camping trip with a few friends and no parents. I mean, it sounds like a hella good time, and I'm up for it.. but I don't know when it's going to happen lol.. We were talking about early fall or so, because then it's not so hot and less bugs... if we don't get to it this year then I mentioned that we should go sometime senior year during spring break or so maybe.. So I've kinda decided on going to one of two colleges. I'll either go to Stout University, or University of Whitewater. If I go to Stout [I don't know what I'm majoring in yet though..] then I will have to find an apartment, etc. but if I go to Whitewater, Brianna said that I could room with her and her grandmother. So then, I would have a place to stay, and I would know someone I'm going with. I'm hoping to major in something that has to do with art, like Interior Design, or something with cooking. About me and Ricky now.. We're just friends. I don't like him anymore because during those months I spoke of, he tended to lead me on, and then go date someone else. And then he told me that he only cared for me as a friend... and by then I already didn't care because I was sick of dealing with being hurt so I had already decided that I wasn't going to like him lol. But we are still best friends. So my wrist is really starting to hurt some, and I think I will continue some other time. Happy Readings ^_^

its been a while since ive wrote or even been here lol... how is everybody?? check my myspace to keep updated. http://www.myspace.com/burtney and my vampire freaks. http://www.vampirefreaks.com/u/onlyasadstory

[heartbroken

OMG IM SO FUCKING BORED I COULD PEEL MY EYELIDS OFF. ive never been this bored in my life. i just want to die for being this bored. granted, it is almost 11 pm, so there really isnt much for me to do, except sleep, but i dont feel like it. All I know is that to me You look like you're lots of fun Open up your loving arms Watch out here I come yeah bitch. this song rocks my sock drawer. well theres not much more for me to do, so im outty. p34c3 0u7

Happy Single Awareness Day everyone. Let's give a hoot and hollar to all of the single people! This day's not about love, but LoNeLiNeSs. Damn Straight. P34c3 out Ninjas.

aahha yeah.. so leander came up to me today and he asked me if my (well ashys) hoodie said stoner on the hood... it was great. man i love food. i could eat it all the time. so i saw ricky this weekend (!!!YAY!!!) and idk... it was just different. but i loved seeing him for the SECOND WEEKEND in a ROW hehe... i think i love that kid. school was gay as usual. nothing fun, nothing exciting. just lame. well imma go.. ttul peoples

What are some good songs?

Merry Christmas everyone! Love, xoxo Brittany xoxo

Thanks to whosever diary I siphoned (sp?) this from. What is your name? Brittany Are you named after anyone? The band Brittany Fox What's your screename? thesexemokid Would you name a child of yours after you? no If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be? jordan If you could switch names with a friend who would it be? i like my name Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly? typos. Would you drop your last name if you became famous? yeah Basics Your gender: Girl Straight/Gay/Bi: straight Single: Yep.. If not, do you want to be? ... Birthdate: 10/21/89 Age you are: 16 Age you act: 7 Age you wish you were: 18 Your height: about 5'3 Eye color: hazel green Happy with it? yes Hair color: tropical burgendy, brown and black Happy with it? i need a change Lefty/righty/ambidextrous: Right Your living arrangement: mom, stepdad, bro, sis, uncle Your family: mom, stepdad, bro, sis, uncle Have any pets? yep 1 dog n 2 cats Whats your job? i dont have one Piercings? 4 total Tattoos? nope Obsessions? johnny depp, care bears, bam margera Addictions? computer Do you speak another language? i can hardly speak english at times Have a favorite quote? you need to get out of my life and shut up! Do you have a webpage? well a myspace lol Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it Do you live in the moment? i try Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? sure Do you have any secrets? yeah Do you hate yourself? somedays Do you like your handwriting? yea Do you have any bad habits? most likely What is the compliment you get from most people? i like your hair or your eyes are pretty or your beautiful If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? hey, lets go fuck shit up What's your biggest fear? rejection Can you sing? sure lol Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? no Are you a loner? nope What are your #1 priorities in life? just to live If you were another person, would you be friends with you? eh. at times Are you a daredevil? no Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? i give up to easily Are you passive or agressive? both at times Do you have a journal? lol. sitdiary duh What is your greatest strength and weakness? i listen well.. i give up easily If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? the giving up thing Do you think you are emotionally strong? at times Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life? yep Do you think life has been good so far? for the most part What is the most important lesson you've learned from life? you should be happy with what you have and dont complain What do you like the most about your body? my face And least? my stomach but im self conscience Do you think you are good looking? im okay Are you confident? a little What is the fictional character you are most like? eh. none idt Are you perceived wrongly? yes, all the time Do You... Smoke? no Do drugs? no Read the newspaper? no Pray? no Go to church? no Talk to strangers who IM you? yep Sleep with stuffed animals? yes Take walks in the rain? yes Talk to people even though you hate them? yeah Drive? no Like to drive fast? when im in the mood Would or Have You Ever? Liked your voice? sure Hurt yourself? not purposely Been out of the country? no Eaten something that made other people sick? haha no, im picky Been in love? yeah Done drugs? no Gone skinny dipping? no Had a medical emergency? no Had surgery? no Ran away from home? once Played strip poker? no Gotten beaten up? no Beaten someone up? it was stopped before i could Been picked on? yes, JOSH :P Been on stage? welllll sort of Slept outdoors? yep Thought about suicide? no Pulled an all nighter? yes If yes, what is your record? like 8 am to 9 am ish the next day Gone one day without food? i love food, i cudnt do it Talked on the phone all night? till about 4 am yeah Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex? for like 10 minutes Slept all day? i wish Killed someone? i wish Made out with a stranger? yeah Had sex with a stranger? no Thought you're going crazy? yep Kissed the same sex? yes Done anything sexual with the same sex?yes Been betrayed? by friends, yeah Had a dream that came true? idk Broken the law? yes Met a famous person? nope Have you ever killed an animal by accident? no On purpose? no Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell? yeah lol Stolen anything? yes Been on radio/tv? radio, i said "jojo will you buy my some ice cream" for kiss fm when i was like 11 maybe Been in a mosh-pit? kinda Had a nervous breakdown? might as well have Bungee jumped? hell no Had a dream that kept coming back? yes Beliefs Belive in life on other planets? yes Miracles? yes Astrology? sure Magic? well lol.. prolly not God? no Satan? no Santa? yes lol Ghosts? yes Luck? sure Love at first sight? yes Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)? sure Witches? sure Easter bunny? no Believe its possible to remain faithful forever? yes Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow? yes Do you wish on stars? shooting ones yeah Deep Theological Questions Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell? yes and no Do you think God has a gender? shes a woman. Do you believe in organized religion? y not Where do you think we go when we die? to the real life, this place only prepairs us for whats next Friends Do you have any gay/lesbian friends? yes Who is your best friend? ashley Who's the one person that knows most about you? prolly brianna What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you? dont give up Your favourite inside joke? 69 in the am Thing you're picked on most about? being weird Who's your longest known friend? katie Newest? kelly Shyest? kelly Funniest? josh Sweetest? josh Closest? ashley and pat and bri Weirdest? ashley pat bri josh kelly.. hell all of them Smartest? keith Ditziest? deejaye Friends you miss being close to the most? ricky Last person you talked to online? ash or josh b or this one chick idk Who do you talk to most online? ash maybe Who are you on the phone with most? josh now lol Who do you trust most? all of them Who listens to your problems? all of them Who do you fight most with? myself Who's the nicest? me Who's the most outgoing? we all are in our own ways Who's the best singer? haha josh Who's on your shit-list? manny but hes not my friend Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend? idk lol am i supposed too? Who's your second family? ashley or josh Do you always feel understood? no Who's the loudest friend? me n ashley Do you trust others easily? yeah, but if they do anything to eff it up then its hard to gain back Who's house were you last at? ashys Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: josh, ashley, brianna, patience, roman, all of them Do your friends know you? some do on an intellectual level, others not as much Friend that lives farthest away: ricky charboneau Love and All That Do you consider love a mistake? not all the time What do you find romantic? that the person who cares for me never says im "hot", but beautiful or lovely (etc) Turn-on? ... shaggy hair and sweet Turn-off? smoking or drugs First kiss? bruce... eh If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel? i wud feel bad... cuz i dont like them like that and i feel like im letting them down Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going: knowing them.. it always has been that way Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out: i dont think it matters Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive? yeah Do you think the opposite/same sex finds you good looking? yes. i get told it all the time What is best about the opposite/same sex? their eyes, and personality What is the worst thing about the opposite/same sex? their bad habits... smoking or other drugs What's the last present someone gave you? i got a bracelet that i am in love with from my ex boyfriend Are you in love? not at the moment... but there will be a day Do you consider your significant other hot? i dont have one Who Was the Last Person... That haunted you? well a lot of ppl creep me out lol You wanted to kill? manny That you laughed at? keith That laughed at you? a lot of ppl That turned you on? oh ashley lol You went shopping with? josh n ashley That broke your heart? dick To disappoint you? no one really. To ask you out? justin (EW) To make you cry? well it wasnt a bad cry, it was sweet... To brighten up your day? everyone does That you thought about? well everyone cuz of that last ? You saw a movie with? my bro n sis You talked to on the phone? josh. You talked to through IM/ICQ? ashley You saw? cari You lost? dick, but i forgave him lol Right This Moment... Are you going out? no Will it be with your significant other? no Or some random person? no What are you wearing right now? my blue "capris" with my red skirt and my "forget the presents give me the money" shirt... and my santa hat Body part you're touching right now: im not What are you worried about right now? everyone What book are you reading? at the moment its still interview with the vampire What's on your mousepad? its a stupid omni tech one thats at school Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling: glad, happy, excited, hungry, bored Are you bored? yeah Are you tired? a little Are you talking to anyone online? no Are you talking to anyone on the phone? no Are you lonely or content? lonely Are you listening to music? Nope

Domestic? Wtf is that? Well anywho, how are you people? I'm okay. Today is the one year anniversary of a very important death. Today is a gloomy day. I'm sorry. He is so sad. I wish I could do more for him, but I don't know what's wrong. I'm bored, and I bet I'm boring. Nothing really goes on in my life that's exciting. I hate it. Sometimes I wonder why I'm here. Honestly, why am I here? Has anyone ever gotten the feeling that no one is really a true friend? I have, and I don't know why. I'm just that boring. I like to think about things that don't make sense to me. And so far, I've come up with life. Life doesn't make sense to me. And no, I'm not being emo, I'm being serious. Why were we put here? How did life begin? What's next for us after we die? Pyschological thinking can get someone killed. Or maybe turned on or hated. Who knows. But now I'm just rambling. I'm going to download msn on the school's computer. Hehe, I hope I don't get in trouble. Oh well if I do. My friend was going to tell someone to shush yourself today. She said shit yourself. It was great. Okay, well I think I am done for today. I'll maybe write tomorrow or something. It depends on what happens. Lots of love, xoxo Brittany xoxo

I think that this is the BEST song ever by Bayside. I love Bayside. BAYSIDE LYRICS "A Synonym For Acquiesce" Empty fields move me so much more then rooms filled up with friends. The way the trees look dead reminds me that there's more to life then living. Maybe giving up's not bad, but part of letting go of you. If I surrender to this feeling maybe all the aches and pains will go and I can close my eyes,never again to have them open till I bleed out all I've been. I don't want to be alone no more, no more Take this razor, sign your name across my wrists so everyone will know who left me like this Empty fields move me so much more then rooms filled up with friends. The way the trees look dead reminds that there's more to life then living. Maybe giving up's not bad, but part of letting go of you. So take this razor, sign your name across my wrists so everyone will know who left me like this. Sew me up, my scars run deep A reminder not to forget the times that we've had. I'll never waste another second. I have wasted so much time and I have wasted, wasted so much time so much time Take this razor, sign your name across my wrists so everyone will know who left me like this. Sew me up, my scars run deep. A reminder not to forget the times that we've had. __________________________________________ Mhmmm.. great song indeed. well friday night i was hanging out with roman and brianna. roman made me all sad cuz he took us to where nate crashed. i felt really bad cuz i cud tell how bad roman had felt. i didnt know nate, but from what i hear, hes a really great guy and all of his friends love him. i slept over at bris moms on friday and on saturday, we left for her moms boyfriends surprise party. it was at miller park and i wanted to go down n run on the field but it was freezing. so i didnt... we ate at TGi Fridays and it was goooooooooooood, i love food lol.. well theres not much else to say except josh called me last night and said he missed me cuz he hasnt talked to me at all during the weekend lol... i really wish he was my older brother. too bad its pretend. i think it would be cool to have someone to look up too. i hate being the oldest. but josh was happy cuz now he finally has a car. he just needs his liscense lmao well i think thats enough for now, im kinda tired :X Lots of love, xoxo Brittany xoxo