The world is spinning and I'm losing my footing.

I don't know what is up and what is down. The life I grew up knowing and trying to achieve has been swept from under me.

I always wanted to be a mother, maybe not get married. But a mother none the less; my actions, words, feelings, and thoughts have turned that into mush. I know there are other ways; adoption, invitro, etc. But its not how I thought things would come about. Its funny though, how this happened. Especially since I have no one to lean on. No one to talk to about my stress, my thoughts, my feelings. All I feel is a consistent knot in my chest. I've got no one to comfort me.

I'm just lost. So damn lost.