so i got home from the tcty retreat today (well its 1.30 am so i guess actually yesterday). i think because i never went to heberw school, or the fact that i started tcty late, i feel kind of out of the loop. rachel amanda and brooke had like this little 'clique' while we were there (More cliques! i bet that hell is something like that. just a bunch of cliques)soo all they did was talk about camp and just stories about it. and then they would be like planning saw (social action weekend) and how all 3 of them were gonna stay together. and they would say that righ infront of me. now i consider them my friends (and i hope they do me) so it kidna irks me when they're planning things that i'm going to be at..yet they don't bother to mention me. and even though i talked to brooke later about it, and she was like 'oh no that includes you' i knew it didn't. i HATE not be accepted. but i met these two girls emily and erica and they seem really cool. maybe i should just leave brooke and amanda and rachel alone. cuz as much as they might say they like me and consider me their friend, they don't like to show it. i mean theyr'e not mean to me, not at all, theyr'e sweet as candy but i dunno. like with amanda...i've been with her in so many things..but she and i just don't 'click' or fit. its sooo weird, u would think we'd be bests..but its not like that. she's cool and everything..and sometimes i wish we would. ack i'm in this weird feeling lie i'm hungry but i'm not, i'm tired bt i'm not. i tok like a 4 hour nap when i got home...so i thought tha tiwouldn't be tired at all..but i gues si am. accccccccccccckkkk high school is being a bitch right now...and david is cali or something i dunno. i wish it would all just stop ! and yet i feel like one of those emotional girls who always has shit happening but i don't do it for attention, i sure don't get any for it.i really want to be happy and have a great high school experience...accck i want to get OUT Of this pessimistic mood! out out out!