I have officially purchased my ticket to Chicago.

One of my thematic life problems is I always second guess everything. Today I got a little hint as to why. I tell my dad that I'm going to get the ticket. Keep in mind a few weeks ago he was helping me look for one at a good price and said he might use his time share deal to get us a hotel. Then today he says "Are you sure you want to do this without a back up?" and "Are you sure he can't just come here?"

A back up? What kind of back up? how exactly does he think I'm going to "hedge my bet" on going to visit this guy? Why is he trying to cast doubt!? It's just his nature and he's where I got it from. And why on earth would he or I want him to come here!? I live in a town notorious for having nothing interesting to do. Why would he spend hundreds of dollars on a plane ticket to come to the town he hated so much he moved? Why would we do this especially when for the same price we can go somewhere interesting, do fun things, and have a holiday weekend?! True, if he came here it would save us money since we wouldn't need a hotel.... but then we'd be in my studio apartment in the ghetto... WHY?!

Additionally this is our reuniting trip. We want to have fun and just enjoy ourselves on our own. If he came here- my parents would want us to spend time with them.... not that I'm against that in theory but... I haven't seen the dude in approaching a year, I don't want to SHARE him! His family wants me to go there to his town and we don't want to for the same reason AND he doesn't have his house yet so he's staying with his aunt and uncle who are very conservative so he would have to sleep on the COUCH and I'd sleep in his bed alone.....not really what I had in mind lol.

We're going to have so much fun. This kind of trip is why I like this guy in the first place- he does things, he plans things, he takes initiative, he consults with me. He wants to do things.

I'm nervous, excieted, anxious.... something tends to go wrong so... but this is going to just all go right.