So I've decided I'm going to start writing about my experiences, in chapters, for my benefit and mine only so if you don't get something, too fuckin bad.

Deployment...

I had known it was coming for a very long time, but I didn't really care in the sense that I would be going somewhere, I cared in the sense that I would be leaving my wife and child for an entire year, but, I signed up for this, knowing this would happen, but we have a very stable relationship, so I'm not worried at all, I just miss her.

I didn't prepare for the deployment at all, I mean hell, I packed my bags the day before, and only forgot little very easibly replaceable things, so I don't really care, I can pull that shit off like it's cake, you don't need a packing list, all you need is some common sense, which apparently the mass majority of people in the world, do not have.

You know, I didn't really know what to think when it came to deployment, I was indifferent, as long as I didn't have to deal with assholish retarded people, I was perfectly fine with my line of work, but unfortunantly I do, but I do a very good job of bullshitting my way out of things, I really don't give a fuck if I look good for them or not, I didn't join them military to please people.

But anyways, lets walk through it...

That morning, deployment, we're going to Iraq, people are seriously still lying to themselves about it, get it through your head moron, we're going to war, lives are going to end, that is life, deal with it. It was a sad occasion, obviously so, I held my daughter, kissed her, held her up high, she loved ever second of it like the 4 month old she is, but, just like the 4 month she is, she passed out, I would hold her and she'd drop her head and start sleeping, so I just visited with the wife, we had our time, she got very sad, started to cry, but it was okay, I love that little woman.

I remember the last things she said to me before I mounted up and left, and I quote "Don't forget to have fun, I know you get when your bored, and don't kill anybody your not supposed to."

It's just like damn, do I really give off that much of a violent notion? Yes. And that is the way I like it, I love to fight, but over my short life I have learned the wisdom of holding back from a fight, because power is knowing when to use it, not just try to use it every opportunity.

So, we head over to another units area, chill there, I just sit down, only thing going through my head is, "Fuck, I want to sleep." The prospect of deploying in several areas to a very hostile area, doesn't bother me for a second. I believe in 2 things, that quite possibly contradict themselves, but it gets me by, first fate is a planned thing, but fate bends to those who's wills are strong enough to make it through, and I believe if I was to die, then I would have done everything super humanly possible to stop that, and if I couldn't, well, at least I'd bring company down to hell with me.

We get to isolation, I get sleep, finally, then 20 minutes after I fall asleep, we get on the buses, fuck, at least I get to sleep more comfortable now.

"Enoy them trees, you aren't going to be seeing any for a while." Bullshit, I saw trees when I touched down in Iraq.

We fly outta Kansas, long damn flight, on a old ass middle class type plane, showing us several movies over the flight to Ireland, in an out of focus shitty projector, I can't sleep, I just watch the movies, it was mildly entertaining. Then it's all I wanted to do was watch the movie, get out of my way bitch and give me a sandwich, I'm watching prince of persia 8 miles above the Atlantic! Beat that everybody.

We touch down in Ireland, all I'm thinking is fuck man, I want a cig. We walk for what feels like a mile, probably was only like a quarter. We have to go through a security checkpoint, it's EXACTLY the same type of bullshit TSA type security we have in the states, to get IN an airport, after we get off a plane, just for like 45 minutes, they tell us to leave our knives and multi-tools on the airplane, otherwise the Irish will take them. HELLO! I have a fucking M4A1 Carbine in my hand! They don't take that? I could have a fucking bullet in the chamber and just blast somebody, yet your worried about a knife around 150 trained killers? Dumbasses. Anyways, we get through, I go to the smoking area, it's another mile feeling long adventure through fucking leprechaun land, the fuckers. I get my smoke, I am not satisfied, I smoke another, still, not satisified, I smoke a 3rd, "meh", it works. We get back on the plane.

Six hours later, we land in the most foul smelling, small, country, that has a constant haze of sand halfway up the sky, at all hours of the day every day; Kuwait, what a shithole. I ask myself, "Really, what am I doing here? I should be in Afghanistan, or Southern America helping the SF fight the new violent cartel's rising down there, someplace where my presence would make a difference and mean something."

Fuck it, I'm still getting a untaxed paycheck right?

WROOOOOOOOOOOONG!

NOT GOOD ENOUGH !

So we get there, it's hectic, blah blah blah, besides just going to random places in a sun scorched desert, we did some training. Did the usual stuff, medical crap, briefings, all that good shit. Then came the fun....

The last day of training, we did rollover training, where we go in a simulator that is like a humvee, it turns upside down, and we practice getting out, sounds easy? You try pushing a 250 pound door after being thrown upside down several times and you couldn't find a horney pussy with a heat seeking missle. I eventually get out, Then later that day, after chilling outside 3 hours doing jack shit, we go to the convoy type vehicle, it's like a big truck that a few people can fit in the back, it's a transport vehicle. We get to my turn, and we're upside down, I get the bright idea to unbuckle myself, the buckle is like 2 seatbelts put together side by side, keep in mind this is with all my gear on, bout an extra 30 pounds, there's a slight lull, I unbuckle, I sit there for a second, my entire body trying to work against gravity but losing the battle quick, I say "Oh shit my straps are loose!" Which they were. I fall, about 3 feet, upside down, with 30 pounds of gear on, against a metal uneven surface, my head hits the ground first, then my side. I am completely lifeless, my friend says for about 3 seconds he seriously thought that I was dead, all I remember is falling, then getting up laughing saying, "Holy fuck my head hurts, hurry up and get the fuck out of this truck, it's hot."

We end up having to do another rotation, this time I'm on my back, they put us sideways, I unbuckle myself but cannont get up, at the time I fail to realize what is going on.

Afterwards while I am eating, I notice I'm eating at a incredibly slow retarded kid like pace, then it hits me, I have a fucking concussion, awesome, 6 days into deployment and I already have a un-combat related injury, I didn't really care though, did I go to the medics? No, but did I go have a cig, a cup of chi tea, then watch a movie and go to sleep? Beat your fat ass I did, and it was awesome.

We finally mount up to get to Iraq, they issue us rounds, people are panicing, finally realizing that we are going to war, to a combat zone, where people want to kill us, but I want to kill them more. Now, what is the only thing I am thinking when we get our ammo? "Yo, is this all the fucking ammo I'm getting?"

And as I look at them, I realize each bullet is an opportunity to give a haji a mighty nice day, and I intent to deliver that good day to him sometime, but until then, I'll chill.

The time it finally hits me that it's real, it was just a split second, it's when I saw the military plane they were flying us in on, as I was walking up the cargo door, is when it hits me, but not what I thought would hit me. What hits me is, (inner monologue) "I shouldn't be walking up this with a bunch of gear to go to some retarded born to fail country...I should be running off of it at 60,000 feet for a halo jump, with 11 other guys, with the only mission is to take the the born to fail country back from the insurgents, surgically, one by one."

But for now, I'll deal with it

God damnit