My emotion's have gone haywire in the past week. I cried myself to sleep on my birthday, and then on the 24th, and then on the 25th. I don't even remember why I did on the 24th. I just remember punching myself repeatedly in the face to calm me down. Now I've got a bruise and a cut below my right eye. I also cut some hair, I don't know what good any of that did me. I'm fine, though. I like it when it feels like people care about me. Even if they really don't. I like the way they act like it. If it's all sincere, then it's that much greater. I found the two pictures of Madison and MacKenzie that I have. I got sad. I need to find them. I think about that every now and again. What I'll do or even say to them if I see them. I was thinking about waiting longer than those two years. Waiting until Madison is old enough to understand where I came from and why I came from Washington to Alaska to find the both of them. There's no way a 7 or 8 year old would understand that. I worry and think too much. Stop it.